Touch and Go
by AngelEddison
Summary: Chapter 21 Added! Summary: When someone is injured severely, everyone pulls together to make things right. Who is responsible and what will happen to our beloved characters?
1. Making Lists

-Touch and Go-

**A/N: Okay, so I'm finally going to finish this story. From what was posted originally, a lot of things have changed and added. Same story, just better. And thanks to the wonderful Emily, this story will finally see an ending. I'm posting what I have so far, in hopes of getting some insight from all of you on what you think and what you'd like to see, and then I will post the new chapters as soon as they're done.**

**-Touch and Go-**

**Chapter One: Making Lists**

"Oh no Michael, Mommy's doing it again." He teased, staring down at the miniature creation of himself and his beautiful wife, who was giggling with those same brown eyes of hers staring up at him.

"Don't listen to him Baby. Daddy's just upset because he is going to have to carry all the bags in." She said laughing as she pulled on a carriage from the string of endless metal, Michael laughing with her, enjoying the antics of his parents' playful banter.

"Yeah, and the amount of overtime Daddy has to work in order to keep up with Mommy's shopping needs." He threw back, placing Michael into the carriage's seat, strapping him in securely.

"Oh stop your complaining. You love overtime and you know it. And you love taking me shopping." She noted as she riffled through her purse.

"What are you looking for?" He asked, as he began to push the empty cart.

"My list. Did I give it to you?" She asked, a hint of frustration in her voice.

"Uh, yeah…" He quickly felt around in his pockets before shaking his head in the negative. "Must have left it in the car."

"I'll go run and get it." She said as she closed her purse and stuck it next to her pint size child. "Are you going to hold this for Mommy?" She asked, stroking his sandy blonde hair and kissing the top of his head. When Michael eagerly nodded, thrilled at the responsibility, she smiled. "Thanks little man."

"Sara, don't worry about it. We'll just wing it."

"You just don't want me to spend as much. Don't worry, I'll be right back." A snicker escaping with her words, she looked up and gave him a light kiss on his luring lips as she walked out of the automatic doors out to the parking lot ahead.

Grissom turned back around to face his son, waiting for his wife to return with yet another one of her lists. Dog food. Apples. Shampoo. Deli meat. The list always seemed to start off really short with just the items they needed, but soon would be transformed into a book, filled with her scribbles of everything she saw in the weekly ad that was on sale. If they had it, she wanted it. Thinking about though, he could only laugh. She was right. He did love taking her shopping. She was so cute, arranging everything in a perfect order in the cart, comparing prices with the ounces and brand, using coupons, and all he had to do was push the carriage. He was about to release into a burst of thoughts of everything he loved about her, all the things she did that made him smile, when his thoughts were interrupted by a loud intruding noise.

A loud screeching followed by a scream and a pounding poured into the supermarket from the parking lot. His heart stopped beating at the sound. Before even thinking, Michael was out of the carriage, tucked in his arms, and he was running to the parking lot.


	2. Help!

Chapter Two: Help

**Chapter Two: Help!**

"SARA!!" His yell was heard all throughout the plaza as he ran as fast as his legs would take him to where he remembered their car being.

It was the worst sight he had ever seen in his life as he finally reached it. Panic shot throughout his body as he found the source of the scream. The body lying before him, flat on the concrete, covered in blood, and far to limp for his liking, was too shocking for him to even comprehend.

Seeing her body, well, it was one thing he never wanted to see, not that way. Waterfalls erupted from his eyes as he set Michael down by a nearby car.

"Stay here Michael! Do you understand me?" Grissom quickly ordered his young son, and receiving a scared little nod in response, he bolted for Sara's side.

"Sara? Sara! SOMEONE GET SOME HELP!" Emotions, uncontrollable and fierce, were getting the best of him as he reached out for his wife.

All of his training went out the window as he looked at her, face down on the concrete. All in one frivolous motion, he scooped her body onto his lap, holding her tightly in his arms. Her body limp as it fell into him, soaking his once white shirt with startling shades of crimson.

"Sara. Sara, honey, please, please. Oh God. Please, stay with me honey. Stay with me. Don't give up on me now." His tears were cascading down his face as he kissed her bloodied forehead.

People were forming a wide circle around them in the parking lot, much like they did when they were at crime scenes. There was just something about tragedy that drew in the curious mind. Several people had called 911, and announced that an ambulance was on the way.

The driver was nowhere to be found.

From the corner of his eye, he spotted his crying two-year-old heading his way. The whole event had terrified him, and Grissom hadn't even stopped to notice, he had been so wrapped up in Sara. But seeing him standing there, tears flooding down his face, made him realize that he didn't want him to see his mother like this.

"Somebody please! My son, please!" He motioned to one woman who had a girl about the same age as Michael with her. The woman, seeing the strain on his face and the tears on Michael's, stepped forward and took Michael's hand, pulling him back from the scene.

"Michael, sweetie, it's okay, it's going to be okay, but stay there. Just stay there." His voice was strained as he rocked Sara gently in his arms, but at the same time trying to sound strong and normal for his scared little boy.

Sirens emerged in the distance, too many to be from just one vehicle. The crowd moved to the sides of the aisle, allowing them space to enter as the ambulance came flying through the parking lot, stopping only a few feet from Sara's body. Paramedics leapt from the bus and ran hastily towards Grissom.

"Sir, I'm going to need you to back up please." The EMT said trying to be as understanding as possible.

They checked her pulse. It was weak. She wasn't breathing. They immediately began resuscitation efforts. In the time that they had arrived to the minutes that passed before they had her on a gurney and ready to transport, Grissom's life froze. He watched on helplessly as his wife's shirt was ripped open and pads placed to her chest, causing her entire body to jump. Distantly, like a dream, he had heard someone call out 'clear,' and then forcefully remove his hand from hers, but he barely noticed. All he saw was the unnatural jerk of her body. Her slim frame having then been braced to a board and her head held in place with heavy foam blocks.

She still wasn't breathing.

Before he knew what was happening, a long tube was being placed down her throat, and the paramedic was pumping air into her chest. When he realized that the medics were ready to leave, Grissom looked back at Michael. He didn't want him to see her like this, but wasn't ready to leave Sara's side. Before he could think of what to do, a police officer was at his side, his arm placed gently on his shoulder.

"It's okay Sir. We'll transport him to the hospital for you. You go on ahead. Be with your wife. I'll stay with your son until the officers are done here, and then we'll take him to you at the hospital. We have all of your information. It's okay Sir." The cop reassured him.

He didn't have time to debate his options, he was knelt down in front of Michael, hugging him tight and kissing his head.

"It's okay Kiddo. Daddy's just going to go with Mommy in the big truck. But see this nice officer? He's going to stay with you, maybe he'll even show you the siren in his car, okay?. Then later, he's going to bring you to see Mommy. Okay? You be a good boy for Mommy okay?" As much as he was trying for it not to, his voice was trailing in and out as his mind raced. He kissed him once more, and let the officer take the boy's tiny hand. "I love you, Michael." He added softly, rising to his feet.

"I wuv you, too, Daddy." Michael said back, only not as coherently as Grissom had said to him. But none the less, it was what he needed to hear as he ran for the ambulance and jumped in.


	3. The Stars Aren't Ready

Chapter Three: The Stars Aren't Ready

**Chapter Three: The Stars Aren't Ready**

His hand couldn't release hers, despite how limp hers was. It was as if there was a magnetic pull, and even if he wanted to let go, the force wouldn't let him. Hoping, praying that his touch would will her to wake.

He watched, horrified, as the paramedics started an IV line and tried desperately to stabilize her. The ride seemed to last forever, and the bright lights inside the ambulance burned into his tear drenched eyes. He found it hard to look at her; she looked like she was in so much pain. Her body mangled and covered in blood. But, putting his unease aside, he fought past that, and kept his eyes focused on hers, searching for something to say that she was there. That she was there with him. He waited and waited but nothing.

Not movement. No sign of life.

_Please Sara. Wake up. Wake up._

"Come on Sara. Don't leave me. The stars aren't ready for you yet. Please."

"_This is so incredible." Sara had whispered, staring up at the fast sky, cuddled up close to the man beside her. _

"_This is actually the first shower I've seen in Vegas." He explained, watching the seemingly so big, yet actually very small, fragments of cosmic debris shower into Earth's atmosphere. _

"_I've never even seen a meteor shower before." She admitted, staring, amazed, at the glorious sight before her. _

"_Really?" He had to admit, he was a bit surprised, her being so obsessed with science and all. But one thing he had learned in the few short months that they had been seeing each other, was that he didn't know as much about Sara as he thought, although, he was thoroughly enjoying finding out._

"_Yeah. I always wanted to. Just never did." She shrugged and pulled the blanket up closer around them. It was Vegas, but it was slightly chilly when lying on the bonnet of your car in the middle of the night. "It's so much more beautiful than the text books give it credit for."_

"_Not as beautiful as you." _

"_That was so corny Gil. But cute." She had mocked, laughing as he pouted._

"_I remember my father used to love the night sky." He began a few moments later, holding Sara close. "I must have been around six or seven the first time he woke me up in the middle of the night to go watch a meteor shower. My mother would make us sandwiches and hot cocoa and we'd just lay outside watching it for hours." _

_Sara had been amazed at first as the ease in which Grissom had opened up to her. She had expected some resistance, some hesitation, but other than a few times, he had completely surprised her. She loved it._

"_It's good that you have those memories to hold on to." She could tell that it was a bittersweet memory for him, having lost his father only a short time later._

"_I wish you had some happy memories of your parents." He whispered, threading his fingers through her long hair._

"_I have a few, I think. It's hard to tell sometimes if what I think I remember was real." She shifted, clearly uncomfortable with talking about it. "Tell me about him. Your dad."_

"_Hmm…well, he would have loved you."_

"_Yeah?"_

"_Completely. Like I said, he loved the night sky and astronomy. He used to tell me that when we die, we were transported to the stars to look down on all those that we love. After he died, I would sit out on the roof, just watching the stars, hoping to see some sign that he had been right."_

"_Did you ever get your sign?" She quietly asked, feeling for the little boy she could imagine him to have been._

"_I think I did today." When she looked up questioningly, he took a deep breath and explained. "Today is the fortieth anniversary of his death. And I'm laying here with you, watching a meteor shower." She smiled as she hugged him closer. "Yeah, I think he's definitely giving me a sign."_

The paramedic cutting Sara's blood soaked clothes from her body as quick as he could brought Grissom back to present. Watching solemnly as in one quick motion the garments were gone and heated blankets were being layered all over her body trying to steady her temperature. The man's latex covered hands felt up and down her body, in search of any other injuries. There were so many, Grissom wasn't sure how the man could decipher between them all.

"Sara, honey come on, stay with me. Stay with me baby." A tear dropped on to their joined hands as he cried and kissed her blood wrenched hand within his own.

Regardless of how it felt, it really wasn't long before the ambulance came to a sudden stop and the back doors swung open, bright hospital lights shining in. He could barely keep up the pace with how fast the medics and doctors were running with the gurney down the long strip of hallway in the ER, but he managed and never once let her hand slip from his.


	4. Catherine Always Did Do His Paperwork

Chapter Four: Catherine Always Did Do His Paperwork

**Chapter Four: Catherine Always Did Do His Paperwork**

"Sir you're going to have to stay here. I'm sorry but you have to wait out here." The words barely phased Grissom as he kept trying to go with Sara through the doors that read OR. The nurse's hand pressed against his chest forced him to let go of her hand.

"No! I need to be with her! No! She's my wife damn it!" He yelled, knowing that it was not going to change anything, but just the same, he couldn't help himself.

"Sir, I understand, but what she needs right now is those doctors. I assure you, she's in good hands." Her voice, although reassuring, didn't convince, but given no choice, she directed him to a seat just outside the OR doors. Time stopped, for him at least, waiting. Thoughts were running ramped as he tried to contain himself, control his emotions, but his mind refused to couldn't focus on anything but what could happen to his wife behind those doors.

Had he been focusing at all, he would have noticed the young nurse approaching him, a clipboard stacked up with papers resting under the clip. But he hadn't been, so when she did eventually reach his side, the worst thoughts came to mind.

"Mr. Grissom?" Her voice was light, and soft, but that only made him worry more.

"What is it?! Is she okay?! Please tell me she's not…" He rushed out, fear gripping every nerve in his body and more salty tears coming forth.

"She's still in surgery." The nurse quickly cut him off, not wanting him to think that his wife was dead. Her heart broke for the man, as he seemed to slump down in relief. "I'm actually here because we need someone to fill out Mrs. Grissom's paperwork. I know this is hard, but it would really help to have this as soon as she's out of the OR." She tried to explain as best she could, as she had many times to many families, but it was never easy. Something Grissom knew about. Trying to break the news of loss to families never got easier.

He just looked up at her, his tears clouding his eyes to the point that he couldn't exactly make out her face. From what he could see was that she was blonde, and very young. Giving a quick nod of understanding, he grabbed the clipboard from her hand, staring aimlessly at the pages.

"Gil!" Yelled a familiar voice followed by the sound of heels clicking against the white tile of the floor as she ran to him.

As much as he tried, his mind couldn't seem to process the voice, but he looked up at his name. One glace and he stood up abruptly, dropping the papers to the floor, to see his friend and colleague, and sprang to her with an energy he didn't know he still possessed.

"Catherine..." He cried out as he ran straight into her arms.

She had never seen him like this. Not ever. So vulnerable, so lost, so hopeless. She tightened her arms around him, holding him close, letting him weep on her shoulder.

"...Catherine...I'm...so...scared..." He confessed through his sobs and she tenderly rubbed his back.

Hearing his voice, the desperation and the fear, made her almost break down herself, but she didn't. The tears welled in her eyes and her hands began to shake, but she knew she needed to stay strong for his sake, for Michael's sake and for Sara. Releasing him slowly, she put her arm on his back and led him back to the bench near the Operating Room entrance. He sat, and his eyes grew distant as he relived the sight of his wife, so lifeless, in his head. The visions caused him to flinch and be shocked back to reality.

"Gil, where's Michael?" She asked, concerned, but trying not to sound too forward.

"He's...he's...oh god...umm..." He tried frantically to wrack his mind for the answer, but there were so many thoughts bouncing through his head that he couldn't think.

"It's okay Gil, just think." She encouraged, becoming very wary of her God-son's whereabouts.

"The police." He yelped, the answer finally hitting him like a ton of bricks.

A confused look arose on Catherine's face, not sure of what he meant by his remark.

"What about the police? Is Michael with the police?" She pushed.

"Yeah. He was...he was there. He saw her. Oh god. He must be so scared." He gasped out between the tears and the wispy breaths.

"Okay, that's good that he's with them. Now focus Gil. Where are they taking him?"

After a long moment, the image of Michael standing in that parking lot, saying that he loved him, came crashing into his head and he jumped up.

"Here. They're bringing him here." His recollection made Catherine breath a sigh of relief, but then his pacing and change of tone as he continued made her worry again. "No! Catherine, he can't be here! He shouldn't be here." Running his hand through his hair, clearly trying to think too much, he continued to pace the floor in front of her.

Catherine jumped up after him and stopped him in his tracks.

"Hey, hey, hey. Don't worry about Michael. When he gets here, I'll take him. He'll stay with me and Lindsey." Catherine, taking charge suggested. Noticing that Gil still wasn't all with her, she more forcefully continued. "Now, Gil, you need to pull yourself together okay? Sara needs you, yes, but there's nothing you can do right now. You need to focus on you and on your son right now. Now listen to me. Are you listening?"

After a moment of processing what she said, he snapped back to reality, realizing that she was right. As much as he longed to be with Sara, he knew that he needed to be there for Michael as well. Wiping his tears away from his cheek, he let the blood from his hand smear against his face. Releasing a deep breath, he sat back down on the bench.

"You're right. I just don't know what to do. I'm so scared Cath. She's everything. Michael and I, we won't survive without her." He gasped, but his tears subsided as he tried pulling himself together.

"Don't think like that. If there's one thing that I have learned about Sara in these last nine years, is how strong she is, how much of a fighter. I mean come on Gil; she was in full out labor with Michael for seventy-five hours with no pain meds. She's a strong woman. And as much as you can't live without her, I know she can't live without you. She's going to pull through this. You know that better than anyone." As she spoke she began trying to wipe some of the blood from his face with a napkin and good old fashioned spit. It didn't do too great of a job, but he appreciated the gesture none the less. "It's probably best if Michael doesn't see you with blood on your face." He nodded.

Noticing the clipboard on the floor where he was standing she rose and picked it up, quickly sitting back down and pulling him down next to her.

"Gil. As hard as it is, they need these forms filled out." She said calmly.

"I know. I just couldn't focus." He admitted, trying to keep his composure as best he could.

"Well, here, why don't I fill it out, and you just tell me the information, okay?" She asked, trying to keep him at ease.

He just nodded and looked at her.

Catherine started filling out the form, asking questions as needed. Exact birthday. Social Security Number. Her medical history. Allergies.

"Any family history of diseases?" She asked not even looking up from the paper.

"I don't know. I don't think she even really knows." He replied sighing.

"What do mean?" She asked, looking up and at his hesitant eyes. As soon as she saw his face she recalled how Sara had never really mentioned any family before. No one had come when Michael was born, or for either of his birthdays. It had always made her curious, but she never pushed the issue. "Gil?"

"She doesn't really have any family. She was raised in foster homes. Her dad died when she was really young and her mother is in prison." He stated, the hesitation in his eyes grew stronger.

"What do you mean prison?" She asked, pushing the subject.

"This doesn't go any further than here, Cath." She nodded, and he knew he could trust her. "Her mother murdered her father. She's serving a life sentence in California. It's not something she likes people knowing, so please." His hesitation turning to concern.

"Gil. You can trust me. Know one will know anything."

After Catherine finished the forms as best she and Grissom could, they sat there for what seemed like days, in silence, Grissom gripping tightly to Catherine's hand.


	5. Innocence, Kisses and Candy

Chapter Five: Innocence, Kisses and Candy

**Chapter Five: Innocence, Kisses and Candy**

The scared silence shared between Grissom and Catherine only broke when he heard another familiar voice, only slightly less mature. When he looked up, he saw Michael, hand in hand with the officer. He stood and ran fiercely to his son. When Michael saw him, he did the same, until they met and Grissom scooped him up from the floor and held him tightly, brushing his hair as he held him close.

"Oh, Michael. I missed you so much. Oh god." He couldn't let him go. It was as if holding him was like somehow holding Sara.

"Daddy?" The innocent voice whispered, still hugging Grissom and playing with his Daddy's curls.

"Yeah buddy?" Grissom pulled away from him, just far enough to see his face.

"Where's Mommy?" He asked, seeming to avoid his dad's sad eyes.

Shocked by his words and the sadness of his voice, he placed him back down to the floor and knelt down in front of him. His eyes looking into the deep brown that matched his mother's, he saw all of his fears.

"Well, Michael, Mommy has a boo-boo, just like you get boo-boo's, so now she's with the doctor so that they can make her all better. Do you understand?" He asked, trying not to scare him, but needing to tell him something.

"You gotta kiss it all betta Daddy." Michael suggested, throwing his arms up in exasperation, as if it were the most obvious thing ever, the innocence of his youth coming through loud and clear.

He could only smile. Michael always had a way of making him feel at ease. His comment sparked a memory of when Michael was running in their driveway and tripped over his tiny feet, scraping his knees. He had never seen Sara run so fast. She was at his side before he even had the chance to realize anything had happened. The first thing she did was to kiss it and make it all better.

Sara amazed him as a mother. He always knew that she would make a great mom, despite what she said, or the insecurities she held. He had been right, Sara truly was the most incredible mother to Michael.

"Well how about when Mommy is ready to see us, we both give her a big kiss and make her all better? How's that sound?" Grissom whispered conspiratorially to the toddler, smiling at his reaction.

"Yeah!" He yelled back, clapping his hands, excited at being able to help his Mommy. He jumped forward and wrapped his tiny arms around Grissom's neck, squeezing it as tight as he could. Grissom did the same, except around his son's little body.

"I think Mommy will like that." He added as he stood up, picking up Michael with him.

Catherine had been watching the whole scene between father and son. Her heart sank for Grissom and Sara and their family. Like Grissom had been with Sara, she was amazed at how great of a dad Grissom had become. Not that he hadn't been in the past, but when he first found out Sara was pregnant, he was a nervous wreck around her, not sure of what to do or how to act.

Everyone in the lab had pitched in to get them one of those mechanical baby dolls, so that he could get used to the idea of a baby before the real one actually came. It was quite a hilarious sight as she remembered. He brought it with him everywhere, wanting to prove to Sara that he could do this, that he could be the man she needed. When he first took little Michael Alexander Grissom, named after Grissom's father, into his arms just minutes after his birth, his whole life had changed, he changed. His whole life was about taking care of his family, not the lab, not his bugs, but his wife and son.

Catherine fell in love with him, not in a romantic way, but more in an envious way. She longed for someone to be like that with her. Her stroll down memory lane ended when she felt a single tear reached her cheek. She hated to admit it, but she was scared too. She and Sara had become very close in the last few years, despite the fury that had lingered between them before. They had found a mutual respect for each other. She had been Sara's maid of honor at their wedding, and when Sara asked her to be Michael's godmother, she cried. Now here she was, watching as her best friend tried to comfort his son when he couldn't even comfort himself, and his wife was hanging on for dear life as she faced major surgery.

"Catherine?" His voice was distant to her ears, lost in her own thoughts, before snapping up to see a blood stained Grissom, holding Michael in his arms.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah." She stood up and smiled at Michael. "Hey Michael, what do you say we go find some candy!" She offered, trying to keep the little boy's mind occupied.

He laughed. He always loved visits with Aunt Catherine, she always had candy that Mommy wouldn't let him have at home. He leant over from Grissom's arms into Catherine's, Catherine taking him with ease.

"Why don't I find you something to eat?" She then offered to Grissom, rubbing his arm lightly in comfort.

"Hmm? No, no. I'm okay, but thanks." He replied, his mind starting to escape him again as he read the clock on the wall.

5:47pm.

Sara had been in surgery for a little over 3 hours now. Why hadn't he heard anything yet?

"Gil you need to eat something. You need to stay strong for her and for him." She said in an 'I'm not giving you a choice' tone as she motioned to Michael who was playing with her necklace.

"Yeah, okay. Can you just make sure he gets something in his stomach other than candy?" He agreed, then asked with a saddened, yet skeptical grin on his face. Sara had made sure he was well aware of Catherine's antics with candy when it came to Michael.

"Of course." She said as she lent in to give him a comforting kiss on his cheek, and began to walk away.

"Hey Cath-" He started, turning around to see her.

She turned back to him at his voice. "Yeah?"

"Thanks. For everything. I uh, I couldn't do this without you." He said in the most honest voice she had ever heard from him.

She gave him a warm half smile and responded. "No thanks necessary." Smiling, she turned away, walking with Michael in search of the cafeteria.

He vaguely heard her saying something to Michael about how they had the best candy in the gift shop.


	6. Elvis and Lace

Chapter Six: Elvis and Lace

**Chapter Six: Elvis and Lace**

Grissom paced uncontrollably around the waiting room, his mind once again filling with thoughts of fear, doubt, hope, love, sadness...anything that he could feel, he was feeling. Doctors came and went, none of them telling him a single thing of Sara's condition. Catherine returned about an hour after leaving for the cafeteria, Michael asleep on her shoulder.

"Any news?" She asked quietly, not wanting to wake him.

"No. They won't tell me anything except that she's still in surgery." He sighed as he stroked Michael's hair.

A nurse came over with a blanket and pillow in tow, seeing the exhausted toddler. Catherine laid Michael down on one of the small sofas in the waiting room, placing the pillow under his head, and Grissom tucking the blanket closely around him. They both took a seat on the adjoining sofa, and Catherine handed him a take-out box, filled with an assortment of food for him to choose from. He was flattered, but didn't have much of an appetite, in spite of his stomach's protests.

"Did he eat?" He asked staring aimlessly at his little boy, sound asleep.

"Chicken nuggets and french fries, extra ketchup and a nice tall cup of milk. He was really good, Gil. You two are raising a great kid." She reported, taking Grissom's hand again.

He smiled. He knew she was right. Michael really was one of a kind. He took after his mom in that way. Then again, Sara always said that Michael took after Grissom.

They sat in silence for a while. Grissom spinning his wedding band around and around his finger, memories flooding his mind.

_Together they sat, curled up on the sofa, when she spoke…unknowingly setting his plan into action._

"_I'm going to go read in bed for a while." He had been anticipating such a thing. She had found a new novel that week, and she had been it each day before bed_

_He smiled._

"_I think I'll join you." Getting up, he grabbed the crossword puzzle from the coffee table and followed her to their bedroom._

_The eagerness he felt was killing him. It was hard to even look at her at the moment, not without giving anything away._

_Deep breaths. _

_Getting comfortable on the bed, Sara leaning up against his side, he pretended to focus on the puzzle, but was in reality intently watching her. He had been waiting for this for days, page 509. May 9__th __being their anniversary. He just hoped that she wouldn't kill him for ruining her book, carefully cutting a hole in the pages to create a hiding place._

_507…_

_Deep breath…_

_And turning the page…_

_508-509._

_Gasp._

_Stiffen._

_Thanks to years of practice, he was able to carefully mask his thoughts and put on a face of indifference, going about filling in twenty-three down._

"_Gil?" He heard her say, almost skeptically._

"_Hmm?" He answered, sounding disinterested and distracted._

"_What is this?" She asked, slowly, unsure._

"_What's what?" Again putting on a show of no real concern. Finally she pulled the diamond ring from it's hiding place in her book and held it up. "Oh that. Yeah, I've been meaning to ask you to marry me." _

_Fourteen across. _

"_What and it just slipped your mind?!" She responded sarcastically, turning to look at him in shock, her jaw hanging open and her eyes wide, but he could tell, not even looking at her that she was trying hard not to smile._

"_You read slower than I anticipated." Was all he said, accompanied by a shrug._

_Thirty-one down._

_She sat there, just staring at him and he had to work harder than he ever did to keep his composure. The one and only time they had spoke about marriage was when they had gone to his cousin's wedding and Sara had told him that she didn't need a piece of paper to know that he loved her and vice versa. It had always left the question of if she _wanted_ one though._

_Fifty-four across._

_He wasn't sure how long they sat there, her staring at him like he'd screwed up an experiment and now had an additional head growing, and him pretending not to notice, but finally she spoke._

"_No Elvis." He smiled, but other than that didn't show any outward signs that it was a big deal._

"_Never."_

"_No aliens."_

"_Of course."_

"_No drive through chapels."_

"_Wouldn't dream of it."_

"_No themes."_

"_None."_

"_No ruffles."_

"_Never crossed my mind."_

"_Or frills."_

"_Not at all."_

"_Or lace."_

"No_ lace?!" He asked with a suggestive tone. She smiled._

"_Okay maybe a _little_ lace."_

"_Small."_

"_The smallest."_

"_Simple."_

"_The simplest."_

"_Okay."_

"_Okay?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Alrighty then." With a grand smile, he placed the crossword down and took the ring, sliding it onto her finger. Giving a light kiss to her lips._

"_Now move over and share the crossword puzzle. You know, since you defiled my book."_

"_I'll buy you a new one."_

Never in a million years did he think that _that_ would be how he would propose to Sara, or how she would accept, but thinking back on it, he felt it was perfect, just them being them. He hadn't even really thought about marriage much, for a long time feeling similar to her, that he didn't need some piece of paper stating that she was his and he was hers, but when he saw the ring sitting in a display window, he had suddenly wanted it all, the domesticated life, doing the dishes, folding clothes, going grocery shopping…


	7. Yay for Tuesdays!

Chapter Seven: Yay for Tuesdays

**Chapter Seven: Yay for Tuesdays!**

"I called Lindsey. She's going to stop by your house on her way home and pick up some of Michael's things and the car seat and meet me here. I told her where your hide-a-key is." Catherine informed, putting her cell phone back in her pocket.

"Thanks. Yeah, he's had a long day." Grissom's voice was wispy and sad as he again just stared as Michael. It had been too long since Sara had entered the OR, and his belief in her survival was diminishing.

"Gil, you have to have faith." Catherine whispered, as if sensing his state of mind, rubbing her hand on his back.

After a moment of silence, he stopped his fidgeting and just stared at the blood-covered gold of his wedding ring.

"It's my fault." He spoke in such a low tone, she almost didn't hear him.

"Grissom, you can't blame yourself. This isn't anyone's fault but the bastard that hit her." She tried to reassure him, but knew that it wouldn't do much. Only Sara could ever get through to him.

"I left the list in the car. If I hadn't she wouldn't have needed to go to the parking lot. And she wouldn't be..." He broke into tears again, but before she could sooth him, a doctor came through the doors of the OR and he jumped up from his seat.

"Doctor?" He asked in a very scared, worried tone.

"Mr. Grissom?" he responded.

"Yes. Yes. Please, how is my wife? Please, tell me she's not…" His heart sunk in his chest. Terror took over his entire body as he waited for him to reply. Catherine came up behind him and wrapped her hands around his arm in support of him, and also to brace both of them in case the news was bad.

"Mr. Grissom, I'm Dr. Braxton, I was the lead surgeon in the OR with your wife. Sara is alive. She was just moved out of surgery a few minutes ago." He could visibly see both people start breathing again. "We found severe internal injuries and bleeding. Mr. Grissom you need to understand, your wife is in very serious condition. It took a while, but we were finally able to stop the bleeding. However, we're having trouble stabilizing her heart rate and blood pressure. A ventilator is breathing for her. It seems that the collision broke several ribs, one of which punctured her left lung, causing severe damage. We were able to repair it, but she won't be able to breath on her own just yet." Both people before him gasped.

"She has multiple other broken bones and contusions to her body with a hairline fracture to her skull. We won't know the severity of any damages to her brain until after she wakes up. _If _she does. She was hit extremely hard by a car, averaging around three thousand pounds. She is lucky just to be alive at the moment." The exhausted looking doctor stressed the information, needing Grissom to understand the severity of Sara's injuries.

"She's being moved to the ICU where she'll stay until she can breathe on her own, her heart rate and blood pressure have stabilized and she's conscious. There's no way of knowing how long that will take, or if it will even happen. It could be hours, or it could be months. We will, hopefully, know more within the next few hours. You can see her, but I have to stress how badly hurt your wife is. The woman you're going to see in that room, is going to barely resemble the woman you know. You need to be prepared for that. She's unconscious for now and we have given her a sedative and a morphine drip to control the pain, as well as a wide-spectrum antibiotic to prevent any infection. I just want you to know what you're up against here, Mr. Grissom. Sara has a rough road ahead of her. It's going to be a very long healing process." He paused, allowing Grissom to soak in all the information, knowing it was a lot to hear.

"But we can see her now?" He asked in desperation, tears clouding his eyes as Catherine struggled to control her breathing.

"Mr. Grissom, there's just one more thing." He paused looking at Catherine and back, signaling that it was a private matter.

"It's okay, whatever it is, you can say it in front of her. She's family." His voice becoming very concerned. What else could be wrong?

"Mr. Grissom. It seems that your wife is about seven weeks pregnant."

Grissom's heart stopped. Catherine's jaw dropped. Neither of them knew. Did Sara know?

"I'm sorry…what?!" He asked, trying to wrap his head around the unexpected news.

"I'm sorry to have to tell you this way, but it's important that you know. Your wife went through extensive surgery following a traumatic crash, and she is on very powerful medications. She is at a very high risk of a miscarriage. We have an OBGYN consulting in her case. So far, the baby is doing okay, from what we can tell at such an early stage anyways. It's all touch and go, I'm afraid. I'm sorry."

Grissom couldn't speak. His mind could not even begin to fathom what he was hearing. Catherine's hand tightened around his forearm as the doctor spoke.

Could this be happening?

Finally, Grissom heard the words and something clicked.

_Pregnant._

"Oh my god." He muttered under his breath in realization.

"What? What is it Gil?" Catherine quickly responded.

"_Gil, come on!" Sara shouted back to the house, strapping Michael into his car seat._

"_Yeah Daddy! Tum on!" Michael reiterated with a dramatic sigh, impressing his mother and making her chuckle._

"_What is the big deal? It's just grocery shopping." He grumbled as he made his way to the car. He had been intently watching an episode of Myth Busters and they were just about to reveal whether or not it was possible to put out a fire with only your voice. _

_All day Sara had been acting strange, happy, but strange, and then she announced her spur-of-the-moment, absolute need, to go to the grocery store. Right then and there. And that he just had to go too. _

"_But I want to make dinner." She vaguely answered, but still kept the smile on her face she'd had all day as she got into the car, Grissom following suit on the driver's side._

"_And…? We have things for dinner here already." He didn't get what the rush was all about. _

"_But I want to make a _special _dinner for _you_." She groaned dramatically through a giddy smile as he started the engine and put the car in gear, slowly backing out of the driveway._

_Couldn't he ever just make things easy?_

"_But why?"_

_Apparently not._

"_It's a surprise." She couldn't help but laugh at his impatience._

"_Soup prize Daddy!" Michael shouted from the back, all proud of himself for listening. _

"_You tell him baby!" Sara laughed, encouraging her son's antics._

"_I didn't forget our anniversary or something did I?" He outwardly joked, but mentally was checking the date. Birthday? No that's not it. Our anniversary? Definitely not. She wouldn't let me forget that. Mother's day? No, it's Tuesday…Damn it._

"_Ha. Ha. Ha. Very funny Casanova, but no." She answered sarcastically. "I just want to make a nice dinner? Is that so horrible?" She watched him closely to see if he would comment on her cooking abilities. _

_He knew better._

"_I'm just curious as to what the occasion is." He shrugged. _

_Sometimes Sara could be so cryptic about things that he had to wonder if she even knew what she was talking about._

"_It's just Tuesday. That's all. Tuesday. And I want to make a nice dinner." The death glare she gave him shut him up, he knew when not to push any further._

"_Yay! Toothsday!" Michael clapped his hands furiously in the backseat, not understanding the conversation, but taking that much from it. Sara looked at Michael, trying to suppress a laugh, then to Gil who was doing the same and instantly both lost it and gave in to the laughing._

"That's why she was so intent on going to the store. She said that she wanted to make dinner for me. That she had a surprise. That's it. She was going to tell me. She sounded so excited. We have been trying for another child for a while, we knew it was a long shot…I just didn't -"

"There's still a chance. The fact that your wife is doing as well as she is, and that the baby has made it this far, it is a good sign. From what I've seen, Sara is a strong woman Mr. Grissom." Dr. Braxton felt a little uneasy. He always tried to relate to the families, to show some compassion and give a little hope. But it never made it any easier. "The nurse will give you your wife's updated room information. I'm sorry I have to go. I'll be looking in on her a little later, until then, ff you need anything or have any questions, please feel free to have a nurse page me."

"Thank you doctor." Was all Grissom could muster up with the inconsistent thoughts racing through his mind.

"I'll get the information." Catherine offered after the doctor had left, releasing Grissom's arm and heading to the nurse's station.

Grissom turned around and stared at his sleeping son. He looked so peaceful. He wished he could be that peaceful right now, seeing the world through the innocent eyes of a child, where all it would take to make Sara better was a kiss. Catherine returned holding a small piece of paper.

"No children allowed in the ICU." She said, staring at Grissom who was staring at Michael. "You go ahead up. Spend some time with her. Hold her hand. I'll wait here for Lindsey to pick up Michael and then head up. Okay?"

Once again, Grissom heard the words minutes later.

"Yeah. Thanks Cath." He said as he walked over to Michael and kissed him sweetly on his sleeping head. "I'll give Mommy a kiss from her favorite boy." After whispering, he hesitantly pulled away.

Catherine could see the pain he was in. She couldn't help but think that the amount of pain he was feeling mentally, was actually equal to that of Sara physically. The pain of knowing she was in such pain was chilling him to the bone, and the fear of his son being motherless tore at his last emotion.

He turned back to see Catherine, who ran her arms up around his neck taking him into a warm hug. He couldn't resist her embrace, desperately needing the support. He wrapped his arms around her and let the silent tears stream down his cheek. As she pulled away, she placed the piece of paper in his hand and kissed his cheek.

"Go be with her."


	8. Have a Little Faith

Chapter Eight: Have A Little Faith

**Chapter Eight: Have A Little Faith**

The entire way up to the ICU was heart wrenching for Grissom. The sign in procedure, he felt, was worse than trying to visit an inmate on Death Row. When he finally reached the room, he took in a deep breath and closed his eyes, trying to envision her happy, smiling face. Releasing the breath and forcing himself to stay strong, he stepped through the sliding doors.

Her happy face instantly faded away.

He had to fight back the tears when he saw her body. So many machines. Beeping and whistling at even intervals. Medications, pumps and IV fluids hanging from a pole next to her bed, leading into her frail arm. They had cleaned her up slightly from the last time he saw her, though he imagined that was more do to need for the surgery than respect of the patient. There was a long blue tube coming from her mouth, attached to a large machine, displaying different numbers on it's screen as it pumped away. It was being held to her face with a cyan colored, ovular shaped, guard adhered to her skin. Bandages covered the majority of her body that he could see above the many blankets. A whistling sounded and he watched, helplessly, as her chest would rise and fall at its command. He hated seeing her like this. She looked so weak, so pale. So…not Sara. Not _his_ Sara.

Walking slowly, hesitantly, he stared at his wounded wife lying eerily still on the bed. Seeing a chair positioned by her bed, he sat down, before he fell down, his motions seeming to be in slow motion. Tears streamed down his cheeks unguarded as all of the emotions came rushing back to him. Taking her hand in his, he realized just how fragile a state she was in.

"Hey Beautiful." He whispered, kissing her hand lightly. "I'm here Sara, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. I love you so much."

Seeing the caked blood coating her skin was too hard for him to look at. Gently placing her hand back down on the bed, he rose from the chair, walking to the nearby sink. Determinedly, he shuffled through the cabinets and drawers until he found what he was searching for – a small basin, soap and some wash cloths. The water ran into the basin, mixing with the little amount of soap he had added. The temperature was perfect, he thought as he dipped his finger in the water, just right for her.

Gradually walking back to the chair he had just vacated, he sat and placed the basin on the nightstand beside the bed. Dipping one of the washcloths into the sudsy water and ringing it out slightly as to not soak her, he rose it to her face, and with the most delicate of motions, wiped the blood stains from her cheeks, forehead and under her eyes, and finally around the ventilation tube leading from her mouth. He hesitated a moment as he looked at her, she looked peaceful as Michael had, despite the pain he knew she was in.

_We'll get through this. We have to._

Closing his eyes tight and breathing deeply, he said a silent prayer for Sara's health, before continuing to clean her neck. He couldn't reach it all with the way her head was positioned, facing him, but he did what he could. As he migrated down to her chest, he began to weep again at the sight of the incisions from her surgery. He placed the washcloth down and took her hand, placing it over her womb, his hand secured tightly over her own.

"That's what you were going to tell me. Isn't it?" he asked, fear emanating his voice. "That you were pregnant again? That's what the surprise was?"

His fears getting the best of him, he looked away, but just as quickly turned back to face her, not having her in his sight worse than seeing her this way.

"Oh God, Sara, I'm so sorry. If I had just remembered the damn list. If I had just gone and got it myself. You wouldn't…" His voice trailed off as the tears cascaded down his cheek to land on hers.

After a few moments and a moment to compose himself, he reached for the washcloth and continued to clean her up, wiping down her arms, her hands… Until he noticed that her wedding ring wasn't on her finger. He panicked. Those rings weren't just some pieces of jewelry to him, or to Sara, they represented everything they felt for each other, the life they had built. Quickly scanning the room, he called out as he saw a nurse walking by the sliding glass doors to the room.

"Excuse me!" Flailing his arm in an attempt to further gather her attention.

The door slid open and the older women, dressed in pink scrubs, walked in, a concerned expression on her face. He realized then that she must have thought something had happened with Sara.

"Is there a problem?" She asked as she looked at the various monitors, taking a mental note of her stats and making everything was at the levels they should be. Turning back to the man, she assumed was the husband, she noticed the red puffy eyes and the various tear stains on his cheek. Sometimes she hated this job. Working in the ICU was never easy.

"I'm sorry, it's just that I noticed my wife, she isn't wearing her wedding rings. What happened to them?" He politely asked, but the panic was still evident in his voice.

The nurse, whose name tag read Janet, understood his reaction. She, herself had been married for close to twenty years and had once accidentally dropped her ring down the kitchen sink. She had cried hysterically until a plumber was able to recover it. It wasn't just a ring, but the promises and vows it stood for. And she could tell already after only a few moments with this guy, that he was the real deal. This girl, she was his world. Giving him a reassuring smile, she walked over and retrieved Sara's chart, taking a quick look through it.

"_There are so many. How are we suppose to choose?" Sara sighed, looking at the many rings in the display case. "White gold, yellow gold, platinum, silver. Then there's the style. Then diamonds or no diamonds…" She rambled on, finding the whole process of ring shopping to not quite be her natural forte. _

_Grissom had asked that they go to a custom design store, wanting Sara to have her own ring, not something that anyone else would be wearing. She had agreed, sharing his thought, only she wanted Grissom to have something all his own._

"_We'll figure it out. Have a little faith." He teased her, but truth be told, he was just as confused as she was._

"_Well, which ones do you like?" She asked as they both leaned into the glass to see the sparkling metal closer._

"_What about that one?" Pointing out a ring in the corner._

"_Eh, too godly."_

"_How about that one."_

"_It wouldn't look right with my engagement ring."_

"_Sara…" He drawled, spotting a ring on the other end of the case._

"_Hmm?" She responded distractedly._

"_There." He pointed to the ring he couldn't take his eyes off of. Sara peeled herself from the case to look at what he was pointing to and immediately gasped._

"_It's…" She was having a hard time putting her feelings to words._

"_Simple, yet elegant?"_

"_Yeah, exactly it's perfect."_

"_No, you're perfect. That is just worthy enough to be worn by you."_

"_That was the cheesiest, most sweetest thing I have ever heard." She laughed at him, making him blush. "I love you." Still snickering at his absolute adorable nature, she leaned in and kissed him._

"_Mmm. I love you more."_

"_Not possible." She rebuked playfully, as happy as could be with her cheesily delightful man._

"_Extremely possible." Seeing her about to argue back, he stopped her by holding out his hand for her to shake. "Truce my dear?" _

"_Only because you're cute." _

"_Oh, is that why you're marrying me? My ruggedly good looks?" _

"_Well, that and the sex."_

"_Oh was as long as that's covered…" They both laughed as Sara huddled up to close to his side, wrapping her arm around him._

"_Hello there, I'm Denise. Welcome to Moriches Designs. Can I help you find anything today?" A sales clerk in her late forties asked as she approached the couple._

"_Uh, yes actually. We're picking out our wedding bands." Sara eagerly responded, amazed at how excited she was to share their news._

"_Oh excellent! Congratulations to you both!"_

"_Thank you." Both Grissom and Sara graciously replied._

"_Well, did you have anything specific in mind?"_

"_We were actually setting our eyes on that style there for Sara." Grissom pointed out the ring he had shown Sara, and the woman instantly grinned._

"_What a great choice. Donald just finished this one!" She enthusiastically explained._

"_Donald?" Sara asked._

"_Donald Moriches. He's such a nice guy. He says that 'no two women are the same, therefore no two women should be wearing the same piece of jewelry.' So, this store never sells two of the same piece." Her liveliness was contagious, as Sara and Grissom listened intently to the woman's story. "Donald, his wife Margaret and their daughters Claudia and Joy design and create each piece themselves. They're a great bunch of people. The business has been in their family for generations." Denise had opened up the display case and handed the ring to Sara to try on as she spoke._

_Grissom stopped listening the moment the ring was on Sara's finger. It was beyond the picture of perfection it presented in the case. On Sara's finger is was home. Sure she had been wearing her engagement ring nonstop since he had proposed, but this was different. Seeing the actual band added to it suddenly made it seem real. _

_Sara was going to be his wife._

_Sara, too, had stopped listening once the ring was on. It fit like it had been made for her finger. Against her engagement ring, it was as if it had found it's own soul mate, like she had found Gil. Then it hit her…like a ton of bricks._

_She was going to be Grissom's wife. Grissom, the man she had been chasing after for years, was going to be her husband._

"_We'll take it." They both announced simultaneously. _

"_Well okay then. I guess that was a unanimous decision." Denise laughed. "Now if you're interested, Donald made a male band to match this one."_

"_Please." Sara answered, anxious to see a band on Grissom's finger._

"_Just give me one minute." She excused herself to a back room to get the ring._

"_Gil…" Sara sighed happily, again looking at the ring before meeting his eyes._

"_Can we just go get married now?" Grissom asked like a petulant child wanting to know how much longer the car ride would be._

"_Don't tempt me!" She threatened._

"_I don't think I can wait another month to see that ring on you all the time." She was finding his complaining to be truly endearing._

"_I know babe. I know. But I want it to be special, not just some judge a city hall." She understood how he felt, she was feeling the same way – not wanting to wait another day to be his wife, but she wanted it to be perfect. Their closest friends and Gil's mother, it was important for her to have them there._

"_I know. I suppose I can wait. As long as I have you waiting with me, I can do it."_

"_Well, I'm not going anywhere." She mumbled against his lips, before closing the small distance and kissing him with all the love she felt._

_Denise came back into the room and smiled at the sight. Not wanting to disturb their moment, she waited until they broke apart before entering fully and addressing them._

"_Well, with passion like that who needs movies?" She joked, watching as they both blushed. "Oh don't be embarrassed! It's sweet. You're getting married, you've earned the right to kiss!"_

_Together the three finalized the transaction, both Grissom and Sara falling just as in love with Grissom's ring as they did with Sara's. Filling out the paperwork, signing on the dotted line and swiping the proper card, they we were on their way home._

"_I feel…I don't know…overwhelmed, I suppose. But in a good way." Sara stated, holding Grissom's hand in the car as he drove._

"_Mmm. I know what you mean."_

_When Sara started to uncharacteristically giggling, Grissom rose a curious eye brow to her._

"_Sorry…it's just…you're going to be my husband." Another giggle. "Husband…"_

_He laughed._

"_Hey, um, I know we haven't talked about it yet, and it's fully your decision and I'll be happy either way…"_

"_Gil, honey, spit it out."_

"_Sorry. It's just I was wondering if you were going to keep Sidle or change your name to Grissom…" He was nervous, she could tell._

"_You know, I never even really thought about it." She answered honestly. _

"_Oh, well like I said, whatever you decide I'll be perfectly fine with."_

"_Are you sure?"_

"_Absolutely. I don't need you to have my name to know that you're my wife Sara. I love you no matter what your name is. You've been Sara Sidle your whole life, I don't expect you to change that for me." _

_She smiled. He was so considerate._

"_You know, I have been Sara Sidle my whole life. But all that this name has brought me in the thirty-six years I have had it is an abusive father, murderous mother, a lost childhood, no life and no family. I think I am ready to be Sara Grissom."_

_He smiled. He had never thought of it that way._

"_Are you sure?"_

"_Yeah I am. I will gladly leave Sidle behind to be a Grissom. Because with you, for the first time in my life I have someone I feel safe with, some to love and love me, a real home and a future to look forward to. I don't want anything more than that."_

_He didn't know how to respond to that, so he just smiled, a great big loving smile and squeezed her hand. _

"_Besides, as a Grissom, everyone at work will fear me." She chuckled._

"_Uh, Sara, they already do." He replied smartly. _

"_Well yeah, but now they'll fear me more because my name alone will remind all of those who dare piss me off that they're not just dealing with me."_

He always did love her logic. He smiled at the memory of that day. They had been married a month later in a charming little ceremony in their backyard, with just their closest friends and Grissom's mother present. Bruno had been decked out in a top had and tuxedo jacket, carrying their rings down the aisle.

"Ah." The nurse humming along as she ran her finger across the page, broke him from his memories and he looked up at her. "It looks like two rings were removed from her left ring finger prior to surgery do to the possibility of swelling. According to the notes they should be in with her personal effects that were sent up with her." She continued speaking as she walked to a cabinet and pulled out a large white plastic bag, Personal Effects written across the front. "Here we go." She added, as she handed Grissom the plump bag. "They should be in here."

"Thank you." He graciously replied, looking at the bag then back to the comforting smile on Janet's face.

"She's a pretty girl." She commented, looking at Sara and causing Grissom to look back as well.

"Yeah, she is." They both just watched Sara sleep for several long seconds before Grissom spoke. "Do…do you think that she can hear me?"

"I believe she can. I think that she knows you're here with her, loving her, and I think that will make a world of difference." She heard these questions all the time, but it never made her answer any less true. She had seen it far too many times to not believe it.

The broken man before her didn't respond other than the most minute of nods, clutching his wife's hand with all the strength he had.

"You take it easy Mr. Grissom. Your wife is a strong woman. She'll pull through this. You just have to have a little faith and not give up hope." With a sad smile she gave his shoulder a encouraging squeeze. "If you need anything, you let me know."

With that, the nurse left, leaving Grissom struggling to find his faith again. Several long minutes passed before Grissom found Sara's rings in the bag. Holding tightly to the small symbols of their life, all he could do was stare at her, brushing her dark hair from her paled face with his fingers. If she were awake, he thought, she'd find that very comforting.

_She always loves when I do that._

"I'm not ready to say good-bye yet Sara. Remember, you told me that once." A sad, wistful smile graced his face as he stroked her cheek. "Please, honey, don't give up. Keep fighting. Please stay with me."


	9. Girl Talk

Chapter Nine: Girl Talk

**Chapter Nine: Girl Talk**

Some time passed, he wasn't sure how long exactly. It could have been days for all he knew. It was as if time moved differently in hospitals. Slower.

"Hey." Her voice so low as to not disturb Sara. Even though she knew it wouldn't make a difference.

Grissom turned around to see Catherine standing at the door, holding a small duffle bag.

"Hey." He replied as he turned back to Sara. He had discovered that he could only go a few moments without having her in his sights.

_If she were awake, she'd kill me._

Catherine stepped passed the threshold, sliding the door closed behind her and placed the bag in the corner of the room. Grissom could hear her pulling over a chair, before she came into view across from him, on the other side of Sara. She took the seat, keeping her eyes on Sara's mangled body.

"How's she doing?" She asked hesitantly, knowing the answer just by looking at her and almost afraid of knowing the rest.

Grissom rested his hand on Sara's forehead, using his thumb to trace over the lines of her skin.

"I don't know." He said honestly and saddened.

"Lindsey took Michael back to my house. She's going to watch him tonight. She brought some things for you. A change of clothes, toothbrush, deodorant, that sort of thing. It's all in the bag." She said, trying to comfort him in any way she could.

"Thanks Cath." He struggled to say, the words not really coming out normally.

Glancing around the room at all of the machines and equipment, she noticed the basin on the night stand with the washcloth soaked in blood.

"Did you clean her up Gil?" She asked in a soft but proud tone.

Grissom looked up quickly at her and then over to the basin.

"Hmm? Oh yeah. I just thought she'd be a little more comfortable." The feeling of helplessness filled him, knowing that all he could do was that.

"I'm sure she'll appreciate it Gil." She replied, taking Sara's other hand. "Why don't you get cleaned up yourself? It might make you feel a lot better too." She added, with a boost of encouragement.

He couldn't deny the fact that he needed a shower. His entire body was drenched in Sara's blood. Catherine was right, but he didn't want to leave Sara's side. What if something happened?

Catherine could see the apprehension in his eyes. She knew that he didn't want to be away from her.

"It's okay Gil. I'll stay with her. You can even keep the door open if you'd like." She said, trying to reassure him.

"Yeah, yeah. Okay." Reluctantly he acquiesced as he kissed her forehead and rose from his seat. Grabbing the duffle bag, he headed for the bathroom adjoining the room, looking back at her the entire time.

Once she heard the water start, Catherine broke down. They had had rough patches over the years, but Sara had become one of her best friends. To see her like this, knowing how strong and resilient she has always been, to see her now looking so frail and broken, it was no easy sight.

"You know, I still remember the day you showed at my house, freaking out about how Gil was going to divorce you…"

"_Sara?" Catherine greeted, confused when she opened her door to find the brunette standing nervously on the other side._

"_Hey Catherine." Sara addressed timidly, shuffling her feet._

"_Sara, what's wrong? Are you okay? Are you and Gil okay?" Catherine was confused and scared. Sara and her had grown slightly closer over the last few years and even more so in the months since she and Gil had married, but showing up on each other's door steps was new._

"_No, we're fine." She spoke adamantly, before Catherine just barely heard her mumble. "I hope."_

"_Come on…" Catherine stepped aside to let Sara into her house. The moment Sara was in her living room, she began pacing…and ranting._

"_I don't know what to do. I mean, we weren't planning this. We never even talked about it. What if he doesn't want it? Or me? What if he wants a divorce? I can't lose him. We were so careful. How did this happen? We're not ready for this. I'm not ready for this. I'm not good with this type of thing at all. I can't handle this. How am I suppose to tell him? He's going to…"_

"_Sara." Nothing. A little louder. "Sara." Nope. Try again. "Sara!" Finally._

_If Catherine didn't truly feel for the woman at the moment, she would have found her face to be quite comical. Terror. Sheer, unadulterated terror._

"_Sara, are you pregnant?" She calmly asked, pulling Sara down to the sofa. _

"_I think so." She was staring at her feet, and her voice was so scared._

"_You think? Did you take a test?"_

"_Ten."_

"_Ten?"_

"_I took ten tests."_

_Catherine laughed, despite the situation. She could completely envision Sara sitting on her bathroom floor, taking test after test, waiting for just one that said negative._

"_Well, judging by your little freak out a minute ago, I take it you haven't told Gil."_

"_No."_

"_Because…"_

"_Because, he's going to hate me and demand a divorce and leave me…and I'll be stuck raising this kid all by myself. I can do that Cath. I can't lose him."_

_Again, Catherine felt for the woman and her irrational fears, but couldn't help but smile._

"_Sara, do you really think that Gil would leave you, or hate you because you're pregnant with his child?"_

"_I don't know!" Sara sighed. She was freaking out. "We've never talked about kids before. I think we both just never thought it was in the cards for us. And now…I don't know."_

"_Sara, you need to tell him." Sara ran her hand through her hair and stood up. "Look, Sara, I know Gil. Granted probably not as well as you, but I do know him well enough to know that he's not going to hate you, or leave you. Yeah, he'll probably be shocked and scared and confused, but he loves you Sara. You. And this baby, it's a creation of that love. I think that whether or not you've talked about it is kind of null and void now. You're having a baby Sara. You and Gil are going to be parents."_

_Silently Sara sat back down and they talked, about everything for over two hours until Catherine's phone rang._

"_Willows."_

"_Catherine, it's Gil Is Sara with you? I'm getting worried, she took off a few hours ago in a weird mood, said she needed some air and she hasn't come back yet. I tried her cell but it just keeps going to voicemail…"_

"_Gil, calm down. She's here." She answered as she watched Sara nervously fidget on her sofa._

"_Oh thank god." She could just imagine the color returning to his face as he breathed in relief. "Can I talk to her?"_

"_Sure, hang on." Walking back to Sara, she handed over the phone. "Here, it's your husband. Talk to him or expect a search party." Hesitantly Sara took the phone and Catherine listened to her half of the conversation._

"_Hey Honey…No, I'm okay…I know, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have just left like that…What's wrong? Uh…" Her face regained that look of terror as she looked back to Catherine, who merely waved her on with her hand, encouraging her to tell him something. "No, I'm still here…Gil?...Can we talk when I get home?...No, it's not really something I want to talk about on the phone…No, I'm not sick Gil…Or dying…No, I'm not asking for a divorce. Gil, stop. I'll be home in twenty minutes and we can talk…No. Gil, you did nothing wrong…I promise…What?...No, it has nothing to do with you forgetting to take the trash out yesterday…Would you stop that? I'm hanging up now…Gil, stop it…Yes, I'm on my way…I'm leaving as soon as I hang up…Which means I need to hang up babe…Yes…Okay…I will…I love you, too…Bye."_

_Catherine laughed as Sara rolled her eyes._

"_What was that all about?" Catherine chuckled, taking back the phone._

"_Gil's convinced that I left because I have some terminal illness and that I'm dying, or that I'm asking for a divorce because he forgot about the trash yesterday." They both laughed. "I should go before he thinks I've left town with the Pablo, the pool boy."_

"_You don't have a pool."_

"_Exactly."_

_Catherine laughed again, when it came to Sara, Gil really could be quite amusing._

"_Alright, well you call me if you need anything." She insisted, walking Sara to the door._

"_I will. And thank you Cath. For everything." Quickly she moved in to give Catherine a very unexpected hug, and just as quickly backed away and left, leaving a stunned woman in her wake._

Sara had called her later that day, to thank her again, and to let her know that she had talked to Gil. According to her, Gil had gone silent for close to fifteen minutes, staring at the floor, before he finally 'scared the living crap out of me by jumping up, grabbing me and spinning me around screaming 'We're having a baby!' over and over again.'

From then on out, Catherine had become a lifeline to Sara, being her first real girlfriend. Gil often joked about how Catherine was trying to steal his wife when they would go their one of their inseparable streaks.

"Who would have thought that three years later you'd be willingly pregnant again?" She laughed, sadly, but laughed all the same. "I wish you could have been able to tell him yourself Sar. He's having a hard time dealing, you know? He's blaming himself. I know if you were awake you'd kick his ass for that. He won't survive if you don't. So you need to stay strong okay?" She had begun to cry again. "You have to make it through this for him Sara. And for Michael. And for this new baby. And for me. And for the guys…well you get my point…you need to pull through this okay? I will not accept no for an answer."

With a deep breath, she squeezed Sara's hand, an abrupt anger overpowering her.

"We're going to catch this guy Sara. I promise. I promise you. He's not going to get away with this." She began to stroke Sara's soft hair much like Grissom had done minutes before. "You just hang in there. Stay strong. We need you. Gil and Michael need you. Don't give up."


	10. Spreading the News

Chapter Ten: Spreading the News

**Chapter Ten: Spreading the News**

Hours passed like days. Catherine finally got Grissom to rest after a lengthy argument and finally a threat that she would have his visiting hours restricted by the staff unless he took care of himself. He had agreed, on the condition that he could sleep in her room. The couch in the corner turned into a small pullout cot. She made it up for him, and convinced him to get some sleep, that he was no good to Sara sleep-deprived. He complied, reluctantly of course, but he was finally sleeping, sort of, as best of sleep as one could get under the circumstances. Catherine took the opportunity to call the boys and fill them in.

Everyone had heard the news through the grape vine. The day shift had been assigned Sara's hit and run case, but everyone from night shift knew, to a point, what had happened, but none of them really knew any details. They had all been waiting around patiently for Catherine's call.

"Hey Nicky. It's Catherine." She said into her cell phone from the hall outside of Sara's ICU room.

"Catherine? What's going on? How's Sara?" He asked rather hastily.

She knew how scared they all must have been waiting for her call. But Sara, Michael and Gil were her first priority.

"She's in rough shape Nick. It's so weird seeing her like this." She wisped out, the grief showing through in her voice as it cracked.

Nick and the others knew it was bad, but he didn't know just how serious until he heard Catherine's voice. It was scary.

"Cath, what happened? Day shift is keeping very closed lip. We've only heard bits and pieces."

"She was in hit by a car in the parking lot of the grocery store. The driver got away."

"What about Michael and Grissom, are they okay?"

"Michael is with Lindsey. He's going to stay with us for a while, and Grissom, well he's doing about as good as can be expected. I finally got him to get some sleep."

"Well good. That's good that they're okay. What about Sara? How bad is it?"

"All the doctors are telling us is that it's touch and go. She's in the Intensive Care Unit at Desert Palms. It's bad Nick. It's really bad. She's on a breathing machine. They were finally able to stabilize her heart rate and blood pressure about an hour ago. They're keeping a close eye on that. She was in surgery for over five hours. They weren't sure if she'd even survive, but she seems to be hanging tough so far. She's still hasn't woke up. The doctor said that if doesn't wake soon it could cause some serious damage."

"Oh my God. So what happens now?" Catherine heart broke again for Nick, she could hear him sniffling back his own tears.

"Now? We wait. She has to heal."

"Can she have visitors?"

"Yeah, they're letting her. They're not supposed to, but she's a cop so they're giving her special treatment. Not that we mind."

"Definitely. Well I'll pass the word to the rest of the team. If you think her and Grissom are up to it, I'll stop by after shift."

"Yeah, I think he'd like that. And a nurse told Gil that hearing familiar voices can sometimes help. It's not a proven study, but it's a nice thought."

"Ok. I'll pick you both up some breakfast."

"Thank you Nicky."

"No prob. Tell Sara to hang in there and that I love her. I'll see you soon."

"I will. Bye Nicky."

She hung up and just stood at the door looking into the darkened room, with the only lights coming from the machines. Watching the forced rise and fall of Sara's chest and the fitful sleep Grissom appeared to be in.


	11. Visitors, Doctors and Haunted Memories

Chapter Eleven: Visitors, Doctors and Haunted Memories

**Chapter Eleven: Visitors, Doctors and Haunted Memories**

Later that morning, when Nick showed up, Catherine took Grissom for a walk around the hospital, to try and clear his head, and to give Nick some time alone with Sara.

"Sara?" He asked softly with watery eyes as he took her hand.

He had tried to envision how bad it was, but came nowhere near what he actually saw. He had no idea how serious it actually was. He had imagined a few cuts and bruises and a couple broken bones, but seeing her so completely mangled, it took his breath away.

"Sara. It's Nick." His voice was wispy and low as he tried to fight back the tears. "Look at you. Lying unconscious in a hospital room and still as beautiful as ever."

Following the pattern of Grissom and Sara, Nick ran his fingers over her forehead and brushed them through her long dark hair.

"Well you've just got to get better, you hear? Because I believe that you owe me a date at the karaoke bar with your beautiful voice. Don't you think that a little accident is going to get you out it Missy." He laughed a little, but it only made him cry more. "You get some rest, okay? You need to stay strong for all of us, especially that guy that vaguely resembles your husband and that little boy of yours." He stood up and kissed her forehead. "Love you, Sar." He added as he walked out, not meaning it to be romantic at all, but more as he looked at her as his baby sister.

The day was full of visitors. It seemed that everyone that they knew came to visit Sara. It was comforting, but it also made for a long day. Catherine had gone home for a while to freshen up and check on Michael. She said that she would be back up later. Sara was doing better than expected according to the doctor. She had remained stable all day, even with the heavy traffic of visitors and nurses.

The doctors took her off of the sedative, saying that it would be the test, to see if she'll wake up or stay unconscious. An orthopedic doctor had come by after Nick left and set her broken bones, casting them with a simple white plaster. Her entire right leg was plastered and elevated. Everyone that came in afterwards took advantage of that and signed it with remarks of best wishes. A cardiologist was in every couple of hours to check up on her heart and run a new EKG.

The OBGYN came in right after lunch to do an ultrasound of the baby. Things were still looking positive from that standpoint.

Sara still wasn't able to breath on her own just yet. The doctor said that it could be a few days. That the trauma had been severe to her lung, and that it needed to heal before she could put stress on it, by breathing irregularly.

The nurses had been great about cleaning and re-bandaging all of Sara's cuts and incisions every couple of hours. Grissom helped as much as he could, but there was only so much he could do. A couple of the nurses allowed him to do the bandaging under their supervision, understanding his need to help.

It had been a very long day and he was finally alone with his love. Warrick had brought him his copy of 'Great Expectations' by Charles Dickens. Every night before they went to bed, Grissom would read an excerpt from it to Sara. She said that she loved the word usage and how the phrases could make her melt. Grissom admired that in her. He didn't want her to go without it tonight. So he picked up the book and opened it. After a moment or two of collecting his thoughts, he placed his hand on hers and began to read.

"'That was a memorable day to me, for it made great changes in me. But, it is the same with any life. Imagine one selected day struck out of it, and think how different its course would have been. Pause you who read this, and think for a moment of the long chain of iron or gold, of thorns or flowers, that would never have bound you, but for the formation of the first link on one memorable day.'"

He spent most of the evening reading to her. He only wished that she could read back to him. How he loved the sound of her voice.

"'I took her hand in mine, and we went out of the ruined place; and, as the morning mists had risen long ago when I first left the forge, so, the evening mists were rising now, and in all the broad expanse of tranquil light they showed to me, I saw no shadow of another parting from her.'"

As he read, his mind felt a bit at ease. Or at least more so than it had been in the last thirty hours. He enjoyed his time with her, every last second, even if it was in a hospital and she wasn't awake. He continued reading for another hour or so until...

A hand moved underneath his. It turned over and squeezed his.

"Sara?" He said, tears of joy filling his eyes.

_Please let this be real._

She squeezed his hand harder, although, with her strength at the moment, it wasn't very hard, but it was enough for him to know he hadn't imagined it.

He slammed the book shut and placed it on the end table as fast as he could and moved as close as he could to her. Her eyes were still shut, but he could tell that she was trying to open them, he knew from the many times he watched and waited when she woke in their bed.

"Sara. Sara honey? Can you hear me?" He cried out as he stroked her forehead.

He knew she wouldn't be able to speak, but she could make sounds the doctor said.

After several anxious minutes, her eyes opened, slowly and deliberately. It was the happiest moment that Grissom had since Michael was born. Her eyes fought to stay open. He could tell that the drugs had taken a strong hold of her. Her eyes were full of pain, exhaustion and confusion, but when they looked into Grissom's sea of blues, a hint of familiarity rushed into her, and she blinked slowly at him.

"Oh honey. Hi." He said, losing the chair and just kneeling at her side, so that he could be as close to her as he could.

She blinked again. The tube in her mouth prevented her from being able to return his greeting, but he knew from the smile in her eye that she was.

"Sara, sweetie, you're in the hospital. Do you remember anything?" He asked, slowly and patiently. He knew she was confused by her surroundings.

She tried to speak, but couldn't, which scared her. She was unaware of the situation. She simply shook her head lightly and slowly.

Grissom's tears went from light and joyful, to heavy and full of sorrow.

"Honey, you were hit by a car. Do you remember any of that?"

A moment passed and he could see as horrifying visions hit her mind.

And he had triggered them.

Sara saw herself, closing the passenger door of their car and walking back to the store when she heard a loud engine and she turned to see where it was coming from. As soon as she turned around, a red car came crashing toward her, and then just a bright white light. The vision scared her as she clenched as hard as she could to Grissom's hand.

"It's okay honey, I'm here. You're safe now. It's going to be okay." He paused to lean in, giving her a light kiss on her forehead. "We're going to get you through this."


	12. The Test

Chapter Twelve: The Test

**Chapter Twelve: The Test**

The next two days went on with Sara coming in and out of consciousness. The morphine was making her sleep constantly, and even when she was awake, she was slightly delirious. Her color had drastically improved and even her wounds were looking slightly better.

Grissom would read to her, and she would squeeze his hand. Nick, Warrick and Greg visited between shifts, Brass stopped by at lunch and would eat with Grissom, and Catherine visited every night. The day after Sara awoke, Catherine brought Michael to the hospital so that he could see his Dad. Unfortunately, he still wasn't able to see his Mom, not yet. But he enjoyed seeing Grissom and Grissom certainly enjoyed seeing him. He and Lindsey had made a card with finger paints, and Grissom proudly hung it up in Sara's room.

It had been four days since they first entered the hospital, and after Sara seemed to be fighting with the ventilator, the doctors were going to see if she would be able to breathe without it. Grissom was as excited as much as he was scared. If she could do it on her own, that means that she would be able to go to a regular room and Michael could see her and she could talk. But if not, well, it wouldn't be good. He had asked Catherine to come to the hospital, too scared to be there by himself. They stood at the edge of the room as they watched the doctors examine her. Sara could only look at Grissom. She seemed almost afraid of the doctors. One doctor listened to her chest for several minutes through his stethoscope before walking over to Grissom.

"Her lungs sound really good. I think she's ready Mr. Grissom. In the chance that anything should happen, we have the team right outside the door to intervene and set her back up with the machine. But if there's one thing I can say, is that your wife is certainly a fighter. She's proven all of us wrong since she got here. Most of the surgeons and staff didn't even think she'd make it through surgery. Never mind making it this far so quickly and still having the baby. She's very lucky. You're very lucky." He paused, as Grissom looked at Sara. She looked so dazed and tired. "Whenever you are ready, we'll remove the tube and get that pretty girl breathing on her own again." He said with a large, accomplished smile and a slight snicker.

"This won't hurt her will it?" He asked as he watched Sara trying to fight off the sleep trying to consume her.

"No. Not at all. Besides, she's on enough pain meds to keep pain free. The first few breaths may sting in her chest a little, but that's to be expected. Her voice will probably sound a little scratchy for the first couple of days as well. She'll more than likely be very thirsty. So think ice chips. Lots of ice chips. But other than that, she won't notice a thing. If anything, she's going to be relieved to have it out. It's a very uncomfortable device." He added, in a pleasantly chipper voice.

"Knowing her, I'm surprised she didn't pull it out herself." Catherine added, lightening the mood.

They both walked to the bed and Grissom held her hand as he nodded to the doctor to pull it out. It was by far the scariest moment for him. This was the moment of truth.

Sara coughed as the tube was carefully removed from her throat. No breath. Again no breath. Grissom squeezed tightly to her hand. Breathe. Cough. Breathe. She was doing it. Breathing on her own. Everyone smiled as they watched her petite chest rise and fall. Slowly, but she was still doing it. Grissom and Catherine both began to cry tears of joy at the sight. Catherine wrapped her arms around Grissom in sheer excitement.


	13. Breathing Life Back In

Chapter Thirteen: Breathing Life Back In

**Chapter Thirteen: Breathing Life Back In**

The excitement of Sara breathing on her own was almost too much to handle for everyone in the room. She was back in a drug-induced sleep thanks to her trusty morphine drip, but she was still breathing. The doctors and the emergency team outside the door waited patiently for about fifteen minutes to make sure she wouldn't relapse before they gave her a nod of approval, shook Grissom and Catherine's hands and headed out of the room, leaving strict instructions to the nurses to check on her every ten minutes for the next four hours.

Grissom, to say the least, was elated. Waterfalls poured from his eyes as he held Sara's hand and kissed her forehead.

"You did it baby. You did it. God, I love you so much. I'm so proud of you." After whispering his words to her and kissing her cheek, he turned to see an equally ecstatic Catherine with just as many tears in her eyes.

With a grand smile he pulled her into a tight hug, crying into her shoulder.

"Thank you God. Thank you." He repeatedly whispered into her hair as she held him close.

"I'm going to go call the guys. They're going to be so excited." She told him, nearly jumping up and down in delight.

Moving out to what she had come to know as her 'message throne' - the seat situated outside the door of Sara's room where she would call everyone to relay the latest news - she pulled out her cell phone and let out a small laugh.

"Good job Sara. Good job." She mumbled to herself as she dialed.

"Brown."

"Hey War. It's Catherine." Her voice was raspy and her words choked and strained as she tried to hold back her tears. Warrick mistaking them for tears of sadness.

"Oh god, Cath. Oh god, no…" He gasped, thinking the worst as his own tears hit him.

"What? Oh, no! No! Warrick no! She's breathing! Sara's breathing on her own!" Catherine quickly interrupted, realization on what she must have sounded like dawned on her.

"What?!" He asked, unsure, his thought process still slightly stuck on panic mode.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. Sara, Sara's breathing, without the ventilator."

"Sara's breathing?"

"YES!"

"She's breathing! Guys, hey, everyone! Sara's breathing on her own!" Warrick shouted as he ran through the halls of the lab. Catherine couldn't help the large smile that spread across her face at listening to Warrick's chant and hearing all the guys in the background cheering.

"Well, that makes my job a lot easier. Less people to call." She mused into the phone, enjoying the chuckle from Warrick.

"Sorry. Just really excited."

"Don't be sorry. She's asleep now, but so far things are good. The nurses are going to be monitoring her closely for the next four hours to make sure she stays that way. You should see Grissom. I think that when she took that first breath, she breathed life back into him."

"I can imagine. Grissom without Sara is like Vegas without gambling, it's just not right."

"Only you would compare them to gambling War. But you're right."

"Thanks. So what happens now?"

"Well, if all goes well over the next few hours, the docs will be moving her to a private regular room."

"That's awesome. Will Michael be able to see her then?"

"I hope so. I think so. That poor kid is just as lost without her as Grissom is. Definitely two of a kind those two."

"Tell me about it. Nicky brought Michael in earlier and all he wanted to do was play with Fluffy, Grissom's tarantula. It was hilarious." He commented with a laugh.

"He is a mini-Grissom. And he's definitely got the stubborn-Sidle in him too." She added with another laugh, remembering how much work it took to get him to eat the chicken nuggets that first night at the hospital when all he wanted was candy. After a long pause, she smiled and looked back into the room, watching as Grissom talked to a sleeping Sara with a wide grin.

"Alright, can you fill everyone in? Well everyone that didn't hear you're little cheer in the hallway."

"All that was missing was the pleated skirt and pom-poms."

"Oh boy." She sighed at that image now floating through her head.

"Sorry. Give Sara a kiss for me. We'll be by after shift with some food for you guys. I'll spread the word."

"Thanks War."

"No Prob. Bye."

"Bye."


	14. Awakening

Chapter Fourteen: Awakening

**Chapter Fourteen: Awakening**

After Sara began to breathe on her own and slipped back into slumber, it was nearly three hours before she awoke again. During the first hour and a half after her initial breath, her breathing had stopped twice, but she quickly regained it and fought on. The doctor was confident that since she had been breathing strong on her own for the last hour and half on her own, that they would be okay to put her into a private room with frequent checks and someone in the room with her at all times.

Both Grissom and Catherine never left her side while the nurses wheeled Sara's bed down to the second floor to her new room. Once settled, Catherine left briefly to establish a new "message throne" and to call and give everyone her new room number. Grissom, however, never moved farther than their joined hands could reach.

He and Catherine were engrossed in a conversation when she did awake, though, they didn't realize it at first.

"...and when she made you foster that litter of kittens found at that arson scene. That was hilarious." Catherine was saying, in reference to Sara. They had been sharing memories of Sara's stubbornness for quite some time.

"That was priceless. The look on her face though, I was terrified of her. I had never seen her so determined. I knew I had no choice. Bruno hated those cats. Sara, however, loved them. I found her one night asleep on the kitchen floor with a baby bottle in her hands from feeding them. It was one of the most beautiful sights I had ever seen." Grissom remembered, a huge smile plastered to his face at the memory.

"_Oh my God." Sara gasped as she walked through the ruble left of what once was a quaint little home in the suburbs and came across a cardboard box. "Gil!" She yelled out, bending down to get a closer look._

"_Sara! Are you okay?! What happened?!" Grissom rambled on as he ran into the room, fearing that she had been hurt._

"_I'm fine Gil. Look." She pointed to the box. He expelled a huge breath in relief as he looked into the box._

"_Kittens? You scared the hell out of me for a box of kittens?!" _

"_Oh hush." She chided, running her finger down the length of one of the six kitten's spine. "The mother is over there." She motioned to the lifeless, burnt body of an older cat laying a few feet from the box. Amazingly all of the kittens had survived the fire._

"_That's too bad. I'll put in a call to animal services." He sighed, feeling for the fuzzy little creatures, but more concerned about the dead _human_ body in the other room._

"_No you will not!" Sara instructed harshly as she stood back up to face him._

"_I won't?" He raised an eyebrow to her in question._

"_Gil, look at them! They just lost their mother and now you want to ship them off to some pound? Who knows what will happen to them there!" _

"_Uh…"_

"_We're taking them home." Grissom did a double take. Did she just say that?_

"_Uh, what?"_

"_We're taking them home Gil. They're so small, they need love and attention."_

"_Uh, Sara, honey, we can not take care of six cats. We can barely take care of ourselves."_

"_Gilbert. I'm not asking." Then she gave him the 'Look' and he shut up._

_He knew better that to argue with her when her mind was set. She had been known to make his life a living hell if he fought with her after she gave that 'Look'. He cringed at the memory of her refusing to have sex with him for over three weeks. He did _not_ want to do that again._

"_Okay. You just tell what you need and we'll stop on the way home. I'll clear it with animal services." _

Before Catherine could comment, a third voice broke through the room.

"Gr..iiis..ss..omm?" The voice croaked out. Both heads turned to Sara. Her eyes were still closed, but they could tell that she was awake. Catherine jumped up and grabbed the cup of ice chips for her, while Grissom moved to sit on the edge of the bed and stroke his fingers through her tangled hair.

He was so consumed by her being awake that he didn't notice her use of _their_ last name. Once they were together, she had begun calling him 'Gil' outside of the lab most of the time and then when their relationship was outed, shortly after Gil proposed, she had stopped calling him 'Grissom' completely.

"Hey. Welcome back." His voice was that of love, caring and glee, and for what seemed to be the millionth time, a tear pooled in his eye as he watched hers desperately fight to flutter open.

"Whh...aat...haaap...happened?"

Grissom and Catherine exchanged bemused looks at the confusion in Sara's pleading voice. Grissom placed some of the ice chips on a spoon and gave them to her to help the sting in her throat as her eyes opened. His heart sank at the fear and confusion in her eyes as she looked around the room, taking in as much of herself as her limited sight would allow.

"You don't remember?" Catherine asked when it seemed Grissom was afraid to.

"No." Her eyes were tearing up now, a result of the fear she was portraying.

"Honey, you were hit by a car. You're in the hospital." He tried to say soothingly, hoping both that she'd remember but also that she wouldn't after her reaction the last time.

Nothing happened.

Her face was blank as she desperately tried to wrack her brain for the memories, but none came.

"I...I don't remember."

"It's okay baby. It's okay." Grissom tried to calm her while Catherine whispered to him.

"I'll get the doctor." She quickly rushed from the room.


	15. Kissing the Confusion

Chapter Fifteen: Kissing the Confusion

**Chapter Fifteen: Kissing the Confusion**

Grissom sat with Sara for close to ten minutes in silence while Catherine tracked down the doctor. When she returned to the room, Grissom was helping Sara with more ice chips and he seemed to have settled her anxiety for the moment.

"The doctor said he'll be by shortly."

"Okay." Before any further discussion could be made, an excited voice wrung through the halls of the hospital and wafted into the room.

"MUMMY!! MUMMY WHERE ARE YOU?!" Was heard followed by Nick and Warrick's voices trying to quiet the toddler.

"Shhh. Silly."

"Inside voice, remember?"

Catherine and Grissom both smiled at the sounds while Sara stared out the window, apparently having not noticed the commotion.

"I think someone wants to see you pretty lady." Nick announced as he walked into the room, taking in the occupants, before a very anxious Michael ran into the room with a balloon that said 'Get Well Soon!' in one hand and some hand picked daisies in the other.

"Mummy!" He yell-whispered, having remembered what Uncle Nick and Uncle Warrick had said about keeping his voice low.

The energetic toddler caught Sara's attention this time and she turned to face the newcomers of the room, confusion evident in her expression, but before she could say anything, little Michael jumped up onto the bed, with a little help from Grissom, and crawled up her side to give her a big hug and kiss.

"Gentle buddy." Grissom reminded him as he hugged Sara.

Sara's gaze caught Grissom's smiling one, and she felt another wave of fear hit her. Grissom's face suddenly become perplexed as he watched Sara with Michael. He was holding her tight, but she looked as if she wasn't sure what was going on, gently tapping his back uncomfortably, but not embracing him at all, her eyes wide.

"Uh, hi. Little boy." She said, seeking Grissom's eyes for answers. Everyone's expressions changed at her calling Michael, her son, 'little boy' as if she didn't know him.

"Sara? Honey? It's Michael." Grissom said trying to grasp what was going on, but Sara appeared even more baffled and afraid with the offered information.

"I...I...who?" She cried, terrifyingly confused.

Everyone's jaws dropped. One thought ran through everyone's minds.

'Sara doesn't remember Michael?'

"Sara, honey, it's Michael. Our son." Grissom tried to explain. Michael was still just holding her tight unaware of what was happening around him, but as Grissom's words left his mouth, her entire body stiffened.

"Iths otay Mummy. Daddy say I tan kiss your boo-boo and make it all better." Michael said with his trademark Sidle-smile before giving Sara kisses wherever he saw a mark on her and some spots that he didn't…Just in case.

"I...what?...Mommy?...No...son?...No...No. I don't...I'm not. No, no, no." She ranted as her eyes flooded with tears. As hard as she tried, she couldn't remember this little boy who was kissing her.

"Wuth wrong Mummy?" Michael whispered as he wiped away her tears, which only made her cry harder.

"Uh…" Grissom stuttered with his eyes wide in panic, fear and apprehension as he tried with all he was to grasp what was happening.

"Umm. Hey, Michael, what do you say we go find a vase to put those pretty flowers in for Mommy?" Catherine suggested, breaking the silence as Sara tried to delicately pull away from the small, unfamiliar child.

"Otay! I be right back Mummy. I wuv you." Michael said brightly, throwing himself at Sara for another hug.

"We'll go find the doctor." Nick said, motioning to Warrick while Catherine pulled Michael from Sara's bed and they all walked out, leaving Grissom alone with Sara.

After Catherine had pulled Michael away, Sara turned her face away from everyone, staring out the window with tears making paths down her pale cheeks and her mind spinning in circles. Grissom was quiet as well, only, he wasn't sure what was happening. Michael was Sara's life; it was scaring him to think she didn't know who he was. It hurt him. Several minutes passed with Grissom just staring at the bed, wide-eyed, trying to control his emotions, before he finally looked up to see the pain in the little of Sara's face he could see. Then it hit him, if it was hurting _him_ this much for her not to remember, he couldn't even begin to imagine what she was feeling.

"Sara?" He whispered. "Sara?" He voiced louder as he took a hesitant step forward towards her. "Sara, honey, please look at me." His voice was pleading, desperate, and despite her inner turmoil, she turned to see him. Slowly he lowered himself to sit on the bed beside her and shakily took her hand in his.

"Who was that?" Her voice was so low that he barely heard her, tears cascading down her face.

"He's our son Sara. He's our son." He whispered to her, his voice soft and delicate, but she could hear the fear that was hidden just below the surface as he fought back his own tears.

"Grissom, we don't have a son." Her tears muffled her disbelieving voice lightly as she looked down at their hands. That's when she noticed the solid gold band that encircled his left ring finger. "What's that?"

"My wedding band? You picked it out." He explained softly as he took it off and handed it to her. "You had it inscribed as a surprise."

Slowly she brought herself to read the inside inscription.

_-This is love- I love you always and forever._

"You don't remember?" He asked, watching her gently run her finger over the lettering.

A flash of images popped into her mind, like still photos, but hazy. She saw the ring in her hand. Then Gil in a tux. But it was fuzzy, like an old television set, the picture coming in and out.

"There's nothing to remember! Grissom, we've only been together two years. I think I'd remember having a son! Or getting married!" She shouted, anger emanating from being so confused.

"Sara, honey, calm down, okay?" Seeing her take a deep breath he moved closer, tightening his grasp on her hand. "Sara, honey, Michael is our son. He's two years old. We had been married about four months when you found out you were pregnant. We've been married for a little over three years now." He spoke slowly, reassuringly, hoping beyond hope that just his explanations alone would return her memories.

Suddenly a wash of guilt overtook her, knowing that Grissom would never lie to her. She broke down, right then and there, body shaking sobs hitting her, and hurting her frail body.

"What's wrong with me? How can I not remember that we're married? That we have a son? How can I not remember anything? What's wrong with me Griss?" Gently he pulled her into a tight but gentle embrace, letting them both release their tears.

"Dr. Grissom? Sara?" Came another voice from the doorway. Both of them turning to see the man the voice was attached to, they spotted the doctor standing with a clipboard and a worried expression. When he had their attention, he gouged on. "You're friends tell me your having some trouble remembering some things, Sara." He stated, making it sound like the simplest thing in the world.

"Doctor, she has no recollection of the past three years. She doesn't remember us being married, or any recollection to our son." Grissom explained, trying to keep Sara calm, but also trying to keep his anger at the doctor's understatement in check. The last thing Sara needed was for him to snap at the doctor.

"Okay, well let's ask some questions, see what she knows, what she doesn't, and then we'll run some tests. More than likely Sara is suffering from what is called retrograde amnesia set on by the skull fracture."

"Amnesia?" She asked with no attempt at hiding the fear from her voice.

She turned her eyes back to Grissom, hoping to see something there that said that this was all just some sick joke. She didn't. Instead she found her own fear reflected.


	16. Lost Memories

Chapter Sixteen: Lost Memories

**Chapter Sixteen: Lost Memories**

"Sara, do you remember anything from the accident?" Dr. Kane asked. Again, she tried to remember, but to no avail. He and Grissom had been hounding her with questions for about an hour, trying to gauge her memory loss.

"No."

She had full knowledge of forensic discoveries that had happened within the last three years, but she couldn't remember when or where she learned of them. Same went for the current president and world news. She explained the memories she did have to Dr. Kane as,

"It's like eating with a fork or reading, or riding a bike, you can't remember learning it but you still know how. I know these things, but they're just feelings, no real memory with it."

Public matters were there, it was her personal memory that was gone. She couldn't recall anything since about six months prior to her wedding. She had been searching her mind over and over again with every question, but it was as if there was a black void in her mind that she couldn't reach.

"It's okay. I don't want for you to strain yourself to remember things. That can cause an even harder time for the memories to return. We're going to run another CAT scan and do an MRI to rule out anything else that could be causing this, but I'm pretty sure that this is all just an onset from the concussion and skull fracture. The trauma of the accident, physically, combined with the mental hardships, well, it's not uncommon for this to happen."

"Will she ever get those memories back?" Grissom asked, wincing at how tightly Sara was grasping his hand.

"It's hard to say. Every patient is different. Some people regain full use of their memories, some don't regain any. The most typical situation is that most prominent memories will return while some of the more subtle ones will be harder to recall. The mind has its triggers. A word or phrase, a sound, an object, a person, a voice, a taste, or scent, will usually trigger a memory. As I'm sure you're both aware from your line of work, scent is the mind's stronger trigger to memory." They both nodded, knowing that to be true. "Retrograde amnesia is often temporally guarded, meaning that distant memories are more easily accessible than events occurring just prior to the trauma. Events nearest in time to the accident may never be recovered. While there is no cure for retrograde amnesia, 'jogging' Sara's memory by exposing her to significant articles from the past three years will speed the rate that she may recall them."

Both Sara and Grissom clung to each other as the doctor explained her diagnosis as best he could, trying to be as clear as possible and give them some encouragement at the same time.

"This is ridiculous! I should be able to remember that I had a baby! I have a son, damn it! That little boy out there is calling me Mommy and trying to make me better and I can't remember a single thing about him! I'm married! What kind of person am I? I can't remember my own damn family!" Sara yelled, the anger and shame building up again.

"Hey, don't you dare think that Sara. Don't you dare. You may not remember now, but you will. This is _not_ your fault! Honey, please. Don't blame yourself." Grissom demanded, sternly, yet lovingly.

"He's right Sara. You may not remember things now, but in time pieces will fall into place. It's very common to feel the way you do, feeling embarrassed or stressed that you no longer remember key people and significant events." Dr. Kane backed Grissom up, making Sara a little less angry knowing that it actually is common.

"Sara, you're going to find that people are going to try and force the memories on you. It's a natural instinct. They want you to remember and know that you want to remember, so they unintentionally bombard you with information, hoping you will. You won't. It's important that you both know, as well as your friends and family, that Sara, you need to set the pace, so as not to be overwhelmed."

Gil nodded as Sara just sat there, absorbing all the information.

"The fact that you awoke several days ago with your memory, and are now without it suggests that you had a bought of anterograde amnesia as well, meaning that new events contained in the immediate memory from the accident and following days are not transferred to the permanent as long-term memory. It's also common for this to happen after a cranial trauma."

"Will that keep happening? Not being able to process short-term to long-term? I do remember that movie, uh, Fifty First Dates…I'm not going to wake up every day and not remember the one before am I?" Sara asked, worried.

"No, no. I'm fairly certain it was a one time deal do to the immediate trauma. You may find in the future that certain things will lapse your memory, but most people chalk that up to just common forgetfulness. It helps to set certain reminders, write things down, keep a journal, lists."

"What about Michael? Or other people that have come into my life from the last three years…I don't remember them."

"They are what is referred to as forgotten relations. These people tend to forget that they are effectively meeting you for the 'first time' and they may do things that make you uncomfortable through displays of friendship, such as kissing you or a pat on the back. It seems completely normal for them, but not for you. Especially with your son. His entire life, you have been his mother, while for you, you're just meeting him in your mind. It will be a difficult transition for all of you. Michael, being so young, won't understand what is happening like other people will, he won't understand that his wanting to be affectionate to you is uncomfortable. I can recommend a child psychologist who can gave give you ideas on how best to handle that situation."

"Yes, please." Grissom responded, wanting to make things as easy as possible for both Sara and Michael.

"Dr. Kane?" Sara cautiously asked.

"Yes Sara?"

"Before…Gil gave me his ring, his wedding band…" She shook her head, frustrated. "How do I know if what I remember is real?"

"Sara, did you remember something?" Kane tentatively asked.

"I…I don't know. One second I'm looking at the inscription, and then it was like pictures in my head. But it wasn't like a memory. I saw the ring, like I recognized it, but that was it and then I saw Gil, wearing a tux, smiling. But it's like I don't remember them, but like I'm looking at a photo album. Seeing the picture, but not the moment. But I don't even know if what I saw was real, or if…" She trailed off, not sure how to explain what she felt.

"Or if seeing Gil's wedding band, and being told you're married caused you to imagine it?" Dr. Kane offered, understandingly.

"Yeah. How will I know?"

"Ask Gil. You saw him, right? Tell him exactly what you saw. He remembers your wedding day, he can tell you if what you saw was really that day." He suggested, glad he could now include Gil in the process.

Sara turned her pleading eyes to Grissom, then to the ring that was back on his finger. Grissom, noticing what she was looking at removed the ring and handed it to her. Clenching it tightly in her hand, she closed her eyes, seeing the same depiction she had before, as well as some more images.

"Tell me what you see. Everything." Grissom encouraged, holding her hand and caressing it.

"I see you. You're wearing a tux." She sighed, gathering that he most likely would have worn one at their wedding.

"What else do you see Sara. Go into the image. Colors, patterns, textures. Use it all. Collect the evidence, find the smallest of details." Dr. Kane urged.

"You're wearing a black tux. Sleek. You have a white shirt beneath it, with a silver tie. It has a design, but I can't tell what it is. And a matching vest. Your hair is trimmed, and your beard..." She suddenly stopped talking.

"What is it Sara, what do you see?" Kane asked, wanting her to follow through with her vision.

"Gil…there's a cut on your cheek, right above your beard line." Sara's eyes flew open to seek out Grissom's. "Why would I imagine that?"

Smiling, Grissom pulled out his wallet, and finding the correct photo, took it out of it's protective sleeve.

"You didn't." He simply answered handing her the photo. One of their wedding photos. Sure enough, Gil was wearing the exact same suit as she had envisioned and there upon his face was a cut above his beard line. "I was so nervous that morning that I cut myself shaving." He shrugged with a blush, making her smile for the first time since she awoke.

Both men watched as Sara stared at the picture, gently tracing their faces with her finger. Her expression seemed lost, not a lost and can't find my way back lost, but lost, I think I just found the right road lost.

"Catherine was there." She suddenly said, her eyes again looking up to Grissom's for confirmation.

"Yes, she was." Grissom answered, wanting to provide details, but not sure based on what Dr. Kane said, if it was a good idea or not.

"I can see her. Black dress and a champagne flute."

Grissom chuckled.

"What?" Sara asked, not sure what the humor was from.

Grissom looked back to Dr. Kane in silent question. He nodded.

"You can share memories Gil, just don't force them on her. Little things such as your voice talking about shared events could trigger things."

"Well, Catherine got completely trashed at the wedding. We ended up running out of booze and for our first night as a married couple, we slept in the guest room because she had somehow passed out on our bed." He explained with a smile at the memory, making Sara smile as well.

"It's like choppy flashes. I can see them, but not quite grasp them." Sara sighed.

"It's understandable Sara. Right now you still have a concussion and some swelling on your brain. As this improves, those images you're seeing will most likely become more clear, and things will be easier to remember."

"I want to remember." She told Dr. Kane before turning back to Grissom. "I want to remember our life, our family. Our son."

It was then that Grissom remembered something. Sara was pregnant, and she didn't remember.

"You will honey, you will."


	17. Naming the Memory

****

**A/N: So, my computer crashed and I lost everything. All of my WIP's that I hadn't posted yet are gone for good. Luckily all my posted stories I can just copy and paste. But overall, it sucked. All of the baby's pictures are gone, most of them I think I can find elsewhere on other people's computers. But yeah, this has not been a fun couple of days. Last night I started copying over Touch and Go so that I could write this chapter. But it might be a few days before the next one is done. I'm going to try and find all of my other things first.**

**Thanks to Emily as always. Thankfully she had some of our notes for the story saved on her computer. That, and she's just awesome. But anyway, let me know what you think of the chapter. Thanks for reading!**

**Chapter Seventeen: Naming the Memory**

After having left Sara's hospital room, Catherine, Nick and Warrick had taken Michael down the gift shop to try and find a vase for the flowers, where they ran into Greg. Paying for their purchases, the group made their way to the cafeteria so Michael, aka Catherine, could buy Mommy and Daddy some food. Once they had arrived back to the second floor, they had spotted Dr. Kane leaving Sara's room and Catherine halted the boys to talk with Gil and Sara first.

"Knock, knock." She sounded as she poked her head around the door.

Grissom, who had been sitting on the bed by Sara's hip, facing her and holding her hand, turned his head at Catherine's voice.

"Hey. Come on in." Grissom then turned the rest of his body so that he could see both women.

Stepping in, she put on a small smile and moved toward the bed.

"We got you both some food. Cafeteria food, so I guarantee nothing, but it's something."

Sara smiled, sadly, but smiled. After everything the doctor explained to them, she was having a hard time processing things, too overwhelmed with the fear, confusion and guilt.

"Thanks Cath."

"Probably an obvious question here, but how are you feeling?"

"Like I got hit by a car." She replied sarcastically, making Grissom smirk.

_Well, it's good to know that she hasn't lost her wit._

"Yeah, I hear that kind of sucks, huh?" Catherine laughed, thinking the same as Grissom. Sara nodded, and Catherine asked the question that neither wanted to answer. "So, what did the doctor say?"

Sara looked to Grissom, hoping that he would answer, if she said the words, then it would be real and she wasn't ready to accept that.

_Perhaps this is just one really screwed up dream and I'll wake up back in our bed. _

Grissom, understanding her turmoil, plunged forth.

"According to Dr. Kane, Sara is suffering from Retrograde Amnesia."

"Amnesia?" Catherine repeated, incredulously. Even after Sara's little episode with Michael, Catherine, at most, had thought that she had just awoken confused and disoriented. Between the drugs she was on, the pain she was in and the whole ordeal, she wouldn't have blamed her for being so mixed up. But amnesia? She hadn't expected that one.

"Yeah."

"Well, how bad?" She asked, concerned, trying very hard to keep her composure.

Looking back to Sara and holding her hand tightly as she simply stared at her lap, Grissom took a deep breath and answered.

"She can't remember any personal memories from the last three years."

"Three years?!"

"Since about six months before we were married."

"But that means…" Catherine trailed off as she brought her hand up to cover her mouth in shock, tears beginning to pool in her eyes.

"…that I have no idea who my son is? Yes." Sara finished for her, her own tears falling.

"Oh my God." Grissom stood and pulled a chair over for Catherine to sit, before she fell, and regained his perch beside Sara on the bed.

"That was pretty much our reaction as well." Grissom noted.

"Well, what did Dr. Kane say? I mean, your memories will come back right?" She sounded so desperate, so pleading.

"He says that there's no way of knowing. Some people recover full use of their memory and some don't get any at all. But, he says that certain things can trigger memories…" Grissom explained, before being cut off by Sara.

"…like Gil's wedding band."

"Huh?"

"I saw flashes of our wedding when I touched his ring. Nothing substantial, but just choppy images."

"Well, that's something right?!"

"Well, it's nice to know that I'm not just crazy…" She quipped.

"Well, yes, there's that." Catherine smiled. "Wait, you said _personal memories_, what does that mean?"

"Just that. I can't remember a thing in regards to my own life, but I have distinct knowledge of things that have happened since."

"I'm not following."

"Well, I know who the current President is. I don't know how I know this, but I do. I know of forensic discoveries that have happened in the past three years, but again, I have no idea how. Gil told me about how he proposed, I don't remember any of that or even reading that book, but I know what happened in the story. It's…confusing."

"That's…well, weird. I don't think I have ever heard of anything like that." Catherine shook her head, as if that would suddenly make sense of everything. "So, what does the doctor suggest you do?"

"He says not to force the memories. They'll come when they come, and I can't change that. But like Gil's ring, things will trigger memories. Familiar surroundings, people, smells, sounds…"

"Well, that makes sense."

The three of them talked for another ten minutes or so, Gil going on to explain Sara's diagnosis more in-depth, and then to further clarify the roles of "forgotten relations" and how Sara would be, in her mind, meeting them for the first time.

"So, if you don't mind, just spread the word. The last thing we need is for someone she doesn't know adding to her confusion."

"Of course." Catherine agreed, then thought of Michael. "Well, I'll take Michael back to my house. I know that must be very confusing for…"

"No!" Sara interrupted, slightly louder than she had meant to, startling the other two occupants of the room.

"Honey?"

"Sorry. It's just, whether I remember him or not, that little boy out there is my son. He doesn't understand what's going on. I don't want him to think that his mother doesn't want him here. I don't want him to think that…that _I_…don't love him. I want him to stay. I want to see him."

"Sara, honey, are you sure? He won't understand that his being affectionate toward you is a little unnerving for you." Gil asked tentatively. He understood where she was coming from, but he didn't want to cause her any more pain. Physically or emotionally.

"I'm sure. He's used to being affectionate with me, I don't want what's going on with me to affect him more than it already has." Gil smiled. In her mind, she had been a mother for less than an hour, and already she was putting Michael first. She truly was a great mother. "Besides, who knows, maybe just interacting with him will trigger something. You heard what Dr. Kane said Gil, I need to be around what would be familiar in my lost time, and Michael is a part of that." Slowly he nodded, when a realization hit her and she smiled sweetly.

"What?"

"We named him after your father, didn't we?" Gil smiled.

"You did, I wanted Alexander, but you outright refused…"

"_I know you do, and I like Alexander too Gil, I do, but it can't be his name." Sara instructed sternly, but quietly as she held their six pound, nine ounce, son in her arms after a very long, very complicated labor._

"_Why not? If you like it, what's the problem?" She was pulling one of those times that made him question, yet again, whether she heard what she was saying._

"_Because he already has a name." She smiled down at the sleeping bundle, brushing her fingers through his full head of sandy hair. "He has your hair." She commented._

"_But he definitely looks just like you..." The sight in front of him sent a chill down his spine. This was his family. His wife and their son. "Hey, wait, no changing the subject…"_

_She laughed._

"_I was merely making an observation."_

"_Sure you were. Now what is this name you have picked out? Because last I checked we were supposed to decide together. That was the deal remember?"_

"_Well…things change when you're in labor for seventy-five hours. I think I earned the right to name him."_

_He couldn't argue with that. Damn women and their birthing capabilities._

"_Okay, so then tell me my dear, what is our son's name?"_

"_Michael Alexander Grissom." She answered, running her index finger over every bit of soft baby skin she could._

_Grissom's eyes snapped up to her from the baby at her words._

"_Gil, honey, you may not tell me everything, but I know what today is. Our son and your father share a birthday. I think he's sending you another sign. I want to name him Michael, after your father. And Alexander, since we both like it, for his middle name."_

_Gil was in shock. He had forgotten that today was his father's birthday during all the chaos of Sara's labor and delivery. It wasn't until a nurse had announced the baby's birthday that he realized it, but he didn't tell Sara, she had been so exhausted. But now, her words drew sweet tears to his eyes. _

"_Gil, I'm sorry. I should have talked to you first. If it makes you uncomfortable, we can pick something else. I just thought that your dad was very important to you, and I wanted our son to carry that on." Sara quickly apologized, taking Grissom's shocked silence to mean that the idea had offended him._

"_What, no! No, Sara. I'm not upset. I'm just not sure what to say." Grissom moved to sit beside her on the hospital bed, stroking the baby's cheek before looking deep into Sara's eyes and kissing her. "I love you. And today…today you have not only given me this amazing gift of a son, but you have kept my father's memory alive in his name. Sara, I don't even know how to thank you for that." Gil was near tears as he finished. Sara's thoughtfulness had always astounded him, but this, this was the most miraculous thing he'd ever experienced of it._

"_You never have to thank me. When Michael grows up and asks about his name, I want us to be able to tell him that he's named after a great man." She kissed him again before looking back down to the baby. "I have a condition though…"_

"_Uh oh." Grissom teased, receiving a glare. "Sorry, go on."_

"_His name is Michael. Meaning we call him Michael. Not Mike, Mikey, Mac, Mickey, Mick, Mitch, Mika or any other nickname that you could come up with. Deal?"_

"_What's wrong with nicknames? My name is Gilbert and thank god nobody really calls me that, except my mother and you when you're angry."_

"_I have no problem with nicknames, I just don't like any of the nicknames for Michael."_

"_Oh, well in that case, yes, deal. I think Michael is a more dignified name than Mike or Mikey anyways. Did you know that Michael is actually Hebrew and means 'Who is like God?'"_

"_I did not, but I'm glad I do know." She smirked, enjoying his little lessons._

"_Yup, and the first record of the name appears in the bible - Numbers thirteen, verse thirteen - __where Sethur the son of Michael is one of twelve spies sent into the Land of Canaan…" Sara just sat there, staring at their little boy, their Michael, as she listened to Gil ramble on about the Archangel Michael and various influential people throughout time who shared the name._

"_Don't worry Little Man, you'll get used to it…I promise." She whispered to the baby, before kissing his little forehead._

Sara smiled sadly as he recounted the moment for her. She could 'see' that happening as she knew how much Gil's father had impacted his life, but couldn't remember any of it.

Gil, sensing her dilemma, stroked her cheek, gaining her attention.

"It'll come back. Give it time." Silently she nodded, giving him a brave smile.

"Well, if you're ready, and you're sure, I'll go get the guys. Out of the four of them, I don't know who's more anxious to see you." She quipped, shaking her head at the memory of all four of them practically bouncing up and down in the hall when she told them to wait.

"You're not going to leave right?" Sara asked Gil, needing to be sure.

"I'll be right here the whole time. And if it gets to be too much just let me know." She nodded before turning back to Catherine, who had stood up.

"I'm ready. But, um, could you just give the guys a heads up. I don't want to freak them out."

"Sure. I'll be back in a minute." With that, Catherine left.

Sara began to fidget and play with the hem of the blanket. Gil, noticing how nervous she was, lifted her chin with his finger to look her in the eyes.

"Sara, you may not remember, but you are a great mother. Michael is completely in love with you. You have nothing to be nervous about."


	18. Crayola Family

**A/N: Okay, so first off, as always, thanks to Emily for her constant support, advice, and conversation. Also, I realize that most two-year-olds can't draw that well, but I figured that a product of Grissom and Sara would be above average intelligence and if he took after either of them, a bit of a perfectionist. So just work with me here. And of course, let me know what you thought. **

**Chapter Eighteen: Crayola Family**

"Mummy! Mummy! Wook!" Michael exclaimed excitedly, running to Sara's bed with his newly vased flowers the moment Catherine opened the door to her hospital room for him to enter.

Sara, sucking up her nerves and discomfort, put on a brave face complete with a grand, yet uneasy smile for Michael. Eagerly the small boy handed the vase to his mother with an accomplished grin.

"Oh wow! Look at those! They're so pretty! I bet you picked them all by yourself too!" She imagined that that would be similar to what a mother might say to her toddler, so she went with that.

"Uh huh!" He bobbed his head up and down proudly, until Nick coughed from the doorway. "And Untle Nitty helped!"

"He did?! Wow. Well, I bet you did most of the work." She sent Nick a teasing smile.

He smild back, glad that she seemed to be in decent spirits over her prognosis. He, Warrick and Greg were told of her amnesia by Catherine, not in full detail, but enough to understand that her memories of Michael were gone, and that her interactions with him were staged for his benefit.

Catherine took the seat beside Sara's bed on the opposite side as Michael, and now Gil who stood beside his son, while the boys all stood scattered throughout. Growing impatient, Michael began trying to climb up onto the bed to be with Sara, sending nervous chills down her spine, as well as everyone else in the room. Gil looked to Sara questioningly, not wanting to add to her discomfort and watched as she took a deep breath and outstretched her arms for the boy.

"It's okay Gil." She assured, albeit more to convince herself than him. "Hey Michael, do you want to draw a picture on…_Mommy's_…cast?" She had a hard time getting her title out, but she did, and she felt proud of herself for doing so.

"Catht?" Michael asked, not understanding the word. Sara froze, how does someone with an above average IQ explain a word to a two-year-old? Thankfully, Gil noticed her sudden reaction, and even smiled. He had been in that situation many times with their inquisitive child.

"Yeah buddy. See, Mommy got a boo boo on her leg, see? So the doctor's gave Mommy this cast to make it better. It's like Rocky's shell and how it protects him. This is like Mommy's shell, it will protect her." Gil explained, receiving a raised eyebrow from Sara. "Rocky's his pet turtle. You got it for him for his birthday. You said that he needed a pet that wasn't from the insect family." He shrugged with a slight pout at the memory. "I wanted to get him his own terantula."

Sara actually snickered at the thought. She couldn't remember it, but again, she could see that happening.

"Mummy's a turtle?!" The boy asked, scrunching up his eyebrow in confusion as everyone laughed.

"No silly. Mommy's not a turtle." Gil laughed, picking Michael up and placing him next to Sara's cast. "See, look, it's _like_ a shell." He added, knocking on the hard plaster.

"Ooooh." Michael nodded, apparently content with that answer.

"Do you want to color on it?" Gil asked, handing Michael the multi-colored markers that Greg had brought in days earlier when Sara's leg had originally been set.

"YEAH!" Taking the markers, he uncapped them all.

"Hey, hey, hey. What's the rule?" Gil reminded Michael.

"One dat a time." Michael sighed, putting the caps back on all but one.

"Good boy."

Sara silently watched the interaction between the two, smiling.

"You're a good dad, Gil." Sara whispered, squeezing his hand.

"And you're a good mom." She looked skeptical. "You are. You just don't remember." He returned a gentle pressure to her hand.

Sara gave a sad half-smile before turning her gaze to Michael who was drawing a picture of what she assumed to be a family portrait – granted, it was a toddler style, stick figure portrait in which they all had green hair and outrageously large sized heads, but the thought was there. Everyone else in the room began talking with light chit-chat and some teasing on Greg, but Sara and Gil were both oblivious as they watched Michael draw their family. Sara was purple with a big orange smile and Gil was blue with a pink shirt. He tried not to think about where Michael came up with the pink for him. And Michael, who drew himself in the middle of them, with his stick figure arms holding each of his parents.

"Mummy! Wook!" He yelled, pointing to her crayola self.

"Hey, inside voice." Gil reprimanded, to which Michael nodded.

"Thorry Daddy." He whispered, before turning back to Sara, and yelled in a whispered tone. "Mummy, wook!"

Sara laughed and looked. It truly was something. But what caught her attention more was Michael bright smile. It unexpectedly became familiar to her, but still without any real memory of it.

"Sara?" Gil prodded, seeing how she had suddenlt spaced out.

She snapped out of her reverie and turned back to Michael.

"Oh would you look at that! I think that is the best picture I have ever seen! Is that Daddy?" She asked, pointing to Gil's caricature.

"Yup! And dat's Mummy and dat's Mital."

"Well then. I think we need to talk to Uncle Greggo about that green hair. Cause only he could give you that idea." She teased, looking at Greg with a smirk as Michael went back to work, coloring some more.

"Honey? What happened? You spaced out a bit there." Gil asked quietly, but even still everyone heard him, except Michael who wasn't paying much attention to the grown-ups.

"I don't know. It was weird." She sighed, running a hand over her face, only to wince as she grazed a cut.

"More flashes?" Catherine interjected.

"No. I didn't see anything, or remember anything. I don't know, it was just strange. It was like Michael was suddenly familiar to me. Like when you go to the store and you recognize someone that reminds you of someone else but you just can't think of who." She tried to explain as best she could, but was finding it difficult to fully get her feelings across.

"Well, Sara, that could very well be your mind trying to access your memory. I mean, Michael still is in your memory bank somewhere. It's just somewhere out of reach. I would think it's only natural that he would seem familiar." Nick noted, glad to hear that she was having some feeling toward the boy.

"That makes sense. It's just such a strange feeling." She shook off the feeling and returned to watching Michael.

Keeping her eyes focused on him, she tried to force the memories, to remember her little boy.

"It'll come Sara. You have to give it time." Gil tried to assure her, but he knew it wouldn't be that simple. He couldn't even imagine what Sara was going through.

"I hope you're right." She mumbled, brushing her hand through Michael soft sandy blonde hair. Another strange sensation overcoming her as she did, making her shiver.

"You alright, Sar?" Warrick asked, noticing her shake slightly.

"Yeah, I guess. I just keep getting these weird feelings." She shrugged it off, not wanting to worry anyone.

Michael, apparently done with his coloring endever, after having covered most of Sara's thigh, turned around to see his mother.

"Mommy all betta?" He asked so innocently it made everyone's hearts clench just a bit.

"Hmm?" Sara responded, confused by his question.

"Mital give Mommy kisses, silly! You all betta!"

"Ooooh." She drawled out, turning her eyes immediately to Gil's for help, unsure of what to say to him.

"Well Buddy, sometimes it takes more than just a kiss to fix a boo boo. Your kisses made Mommy feel better but her boo boo's still need to be fixed. Do you understand?" Gil tried to explain the best he could, but if he were honest, this was usually Sara's forte. Sara would explain the adult world in terms of a two year old, Michael would nod, seeminging impressed by her genious, and Grissom would agree with whatever she had said. It was a nice arrangement.

"I tint so." He replied, still unsure as he scrunched up his face again. "So…Mummy need more kisses?"

Sensing he was going no where, Gil simply smiled. How he ever thought that he could explain the world of medicine to a toddler without Sara's help, was beyond him. At a loss for words, he looked to Sara pleadinginly. She must have understood his predicament because she sucked in a deep breath and swallowed hard.

"That's exactly what it means Michael." She smiled as his eyes lit up in complete and utter joy.

_Well, at least I'm not making him cry._

Gil smiled to her, proud of her bravery. If there was one thing about Sara, was when she set her mind to something, nothing would stop her. And when it came to reconnecting with her son, no amount of unease was going to get in her way.

The rest of the group watched on nervously as Michael crawled up the bed, over Gil's lap, to sit by Sara's chest. Instinctively, her right arm wrapped around his little waist. A gesture that didn't go unnoticed by anyone, including Sara. Except for Michael who was in ignorant bliss of what was going on. With that mini-Sidle smile, Michael dove in, peppering Sara's face with gentle, soft kisses, minding her injuries. Sara stiffened at first, but with Gil's hand lightly caressing her arm, she felt assured and relaxed.

"Gentle Michael." Sara instructed calmly when he kissed a particularly painful spot. Instantly his kisses became feather-like and she smiled. "Thank you."

Finding no more spots to kiss, Michael climbed back up to Sara's face.

"Mummy all betta!" He clapped in honor of Sara's newfound health and everyone laughed. "We go home now?"

"Not yet, buddy. Mommy has to stay here for a little bit longer. But you're going togo home with Auntie Cath, okay?" Gil told him.

"Mmm. Candy!" Instantly both Gil and Sara turned to Catherine with raised eyebrows as she tried very hard to seem occupied with playing with her cuticles.

"Catherine…I know you're not giving into his every whim for candy. Right?" Gil asked slowly.

"Who? Me?" She asked nervously.

"Catherine, I don't even remember anything, but I somehow can't put it past you to feed him candy constantly." Sara added with a smirk.

"Okay, so _maybe_ I give him a _little_ candy. There's nothing wrong with that."

"There is when that _little_ candy that you give him causes him to not eat real food." Gil pointed out. He knew all too well what a candy-fed Michael was like, and it was not pretty. Michael had decided that his mashed potatoes weren't sugary enough to eat, so instead he threw them…everywhere. It had taken him and Sara over three hours to clean up. And the still found remnants days later.

"Oh would you chill. He's fine. And besides, he's staying with me, if he throws a fit, it's my problem, not yours." She shrugged, as if that somehow justified it. "Gil, seriously, get over it. When you're both back on your feet, uh, so to speak…" She paused motioning to Sara's casted leg, to which she nodded dryly. "…and Michael comes home, you can sontinue on with the whole healthy foods thing, but until then, he's my godson, and I get to spoil him and make him like me with use of candy bribes."

"That's some…interesting…logic there Cath." Nick teased.

"Oh hush!"

"No, you know she's right. I gave Greg candy and he loves me!" Sara joked, gaining a blush from Greg.

"Well…Sara, you know since you can't remember getting hitched and all…maybe you and I could…"

"Don't even finish that sentence Greg." Sara scolded.

"Sorry, you know when opportunity arises…" He shrugged innocently.

"Alright, well, I think we should get going, give y'all some time to rest and what not. We brought you up some food fi you're hungry." Nick motioned to the carry-out containers sitting on the small table beside him.

"Thanks Nicky." Sara responded, just then realizing how hungry she actually was.

"Alright come here buddy. Give Daddy hugs and kisses." Gil held his arms open for Michael to jump into, which he readily complied to, wrapping his little arms tightly around Gil's neck.. "You be good for Auntie Cath, okay?"

"Uh huh."

"Good boy. Love you." He added as he gave Michael a kiss.

"I wuv you more Daddy!" Michael giggled. Sara looked at him with raised eyebrow again.

"He learned that from you." Gil teased as he pointed at his wife.

"Well, it's good to know he learns some good things from me." She smiled. Michael, parting from Gil, inched back up to Sara where he lunged at her, hugging her with more force than she thought a two-year-old could posess. Again, she stiffened momentarily, unfamiliar with the affection of a child, but relaxed and hugged him back, as tightly as she could in her fragile state.

"I wuv you Mummy." He whispered in her ear before kissing her cheek.

_A newborn baby, brown eyes and sandy blonde hair, wrapped in a blue blanket, in a white crib with a ladybug stuffed animal beside him._

_A baby, brown eyes and sandy blonde hair, wearing a green onsie, up on all fours about to crawl._

_A baby, brown eyes and sandy blonde hair, sitting up in a high chair with speghetti sauce covering his face, shirt and hands, but a smile to stretch for miles._

_A baby, brown eyes and sandy blonde hair, with a white shirt and blue jean overalls and bare feet, holding Gil's hands and standing, about to take a step._

_A baby, brown eyes and sandy blonde hair, again in a high chair, only decorated with streamers and balloons, with frosting covering his little face and the remnants of a birthday cake in front of him._

_A little boy, brown eyes and sandy blonde hair, sitting in the bathtub, naked and holding a rubber ducky._

_A little boy, brown eyes and sandy blonde hair, holding on tight to the chains of a swing , smiling as he went higher and higher._

Sara froze, her breathing becoming raggid. Gil noticed immediately and a cloud of worry overcame him. Sara looked as if she had seen a ghost.

"I love you, too, Little Man." She whispered to Michael, pulling him even closer, despite the pain it caused, and kissed the top of head. "I love you, too."

Everyone picked up on Sara's name for Michael. She had been calling him 'Little Man' since that first day at the hospital, so they all knew something had happened when those words slipped from her lips.

"Sara?" Gil asked, barely masking the concern he felt.

"Later." She whispered, hugging Michael tightly and kissing his hair.

"Come on, Michael, let's let Mommy and Daddy get some rest, okay?" Catherine urged, not wanting to break the moment between mother and son, but sensing that Sara needed to talk to Gil about whatever had just happened.

"We tum back?!" He pleaded with imploring eyes to Catherine.

"Yeah buddy, we'll come back tomorrow."

"Otay!" He happily kissed his mother on the lips and gave her a final hug before jumping into Catherine's awaiting arms.

"I'll call later to check in you guys." Catherine said as she gave Sara a quick squeeze of her shoulder and a kiss to Gil's cheek.

"We'll come back tomorrow after shift, if it's okay with you both?" Warrick asked, referring to himself, Nick and Greg.

"Of course. But only if you come baring real food. Otherwise, I want nothing to do with any of you." Sara sternly told the boys, having a hard time concealing her smile though.

"You've got yourself a deal." Greg cheerily added, excited to be able to come and actually spend some time with her.

"Get some rest guys. If you need anything call." Nick instructed as they all made their way to the door.

"Bye guys. And thank you, for everything." Sara sincerely thanked.

"Yes, thank you. Oh, and could someone fill Brass in please? I wouldn't want him to show up here and be thrown completely for a loop." Gil added, hoping they'd agree. He didn't want to have to explain it all again.

"Will do. We'll see you later." Catherine agreed, shifting the fidgeting toddler in her arms. "Michael say bye to Mommy and Daddy."

"Bye Mummy! Bye Daddy! Wuv you!"

"Bye buddy, you be good for Aunt Cath, and go easy on the candy."

"I'll see you tomorrow Little Man. We love you, too."

Together the group left the room, leaving Gil and Sara alone together once again. Sara still slightly freaked out by the flash of images that had hit her with Michael, and Gil still just as worried about Sara's reaction.


	19. Threats and Loyalty

**A/N: This chapter goes out to Emily. I love you, and I'm here, anytime, anywhere, for anything. My thoughts and prayers are with you.**

**So, I wanted to get into some of the case side of this, as I'm sure everyone wants to see this jerk who ran over Sara go to a very bad place…It's kind of short and not the greatest, but it needed to be written and I wanted to throw it out there. Also, I apologize for how long it took to put this up. Things have been pretty crazy lately. I'm going to get back to Gil and Sara in the next chapter. Let me know if you think Sara should tell Gil about her Michael-flashes or not. I'm still deciding and would love to hear what you think.**

**Chapter Nineteen: Threats and Loyalty**

After leaving the hospital, the entire gang plus Michael had headed back to Catherine's house for some much needed food and an equally needed break. Michael had fallen asleep in the car just moments before they pulled into the driveway, so Catherine put him down for a nap and joined the others in the living room, who had begun talking about Sara.

"Can you imagine not having any memory of the last three years of your life?" She heard Nick ask as she stepped back into the room.

"Never mind everything that has changed with all of us in that time, but can you imagine not knowing your own child? Or your husband really." She spoke from the doorway, gaining everyone's attention.

"How can this be happening? And to Sara of all people. She doesn't deserve this!" Greg's voice was close to trembling. That was his best friend in that hospital bed and he was having a hard time accepting that.

"Nobody does Greg, nobody does." Warrick shook his head and gave Greg's shoulder a supportive grasp.

"Did you hear that day shift still doesn't have a suspect?" Nick added in, the obvious disgust he felt about it very evident in his tone.

"Are you kidding me?!" Catherine shrieked, taking a seat beside Nick on the sofa.

"Nope. Not that we should be surprised. The way day shift is run, I'm surprised that they even know what print powder is."

They all nodded in understanding at Nick's assessment. They knew it to be true.

"This just isn't right. We need to do something! I'm not ready to let that son of a bitch who hurt Sara go free!" Greg stood angrily, pacing back and forth.

"I agree. Is there anything we can do Cath?" Warrick asked the woman sitting across from him.

"I don't know. It's day's case. Not ours. And even if I could somehow manage to get us on it, anything we collect could be called into question due to conflict of interest." She sighed, not liking the rules.

"That's bullshit!" Nick added, his own anger rising.

"We're the best forensic team nationwide aside from the feds. We could crack this in an instant! Days is just too damn lazy and politically absorbed to do anything but kiss ass." Warrick defended them.

"Well, I can see what I can do guys, but I can't guarantee anything. I'll talk to Ecklie and the sheriff today to see what they think." Catherine sighed, she wished as much as the others that they could do something to help bring this person to justice.

"Well, I'm saying this right now, whether they let us on the case or not, I am going to find this prick and kill him! He'll be wishing he never came near that store! He's messed with the wrong family!" Greg gritted his teeth to keep from screaming, but his anger came through loud and clear.

"We'll get him Greg. We'll get him. We have to. Griss and Sara need closure on this." Warrick, the voice of reason, assured.

"Did anybody else notice Sara's reaction to Michael? It was like one second she was all nervous and uncomfortable and the next it was almost like she was back to being the Sara we've known for the last three years…" Nick asked, having found the scene to be rather perplexing.

"Maybe she remembered something?" Greg offered, calming down a bit, and retaking his seat.

"Maybe…" Warrick agreed, but not entirely sure.

"I don't know. She said that she felt like she recognized him, but couldn't place it with a memory. Maybe it was just that? Somewhere within her she knows who he is, she just can't connect all the dots."

"Well, hopefully Grissom can fill us in later." Nick hoped, making a bee-line for the kitchen and the promise of food.

* * *

"Here's the deal Ecklie…" Catherine confidently announced as she barged through Ecklie's office door, finding him on the phone with what appeared to be someone important.

"I'm going to have to call you back…" He spoke into the phone, a cross between agitation, confusion and fear. Taking a deep breath, he placed the receiver back onto the base and stood, attempting to be ready for whatever Catherine was about to throw at him.

_Quite literally if I know Catherine._ He thought ironically.

"Catherine. Take a seat. How are you?" He said simply in greeting, not bothering to disguise the displeasure he felt at her impromptu visit.

"Cut the shit Ecklie. I don't have time for it." She curtly replied, closing the door behind her and moving in front of his desk, coming face to face with the balding man.

"Is there a problem here?!" He sat back down slowly, trying to contain his composure and not let on that he truly was afraid of what Catherine could do to him.

"Yeah. There is." He simply raised an eyebrow in question as he leaned, rather smugly, back in his chair. "I'm taking Sara's case." She told him, making sure he knew that there was no question in her request.

"That is day's case, Catherine. You can't just take it. And even if you could, there's the matter of conflict of interest at play here. Night supervisor is Grissom, he can't really investigate his wife's case."

"None of that matters. Grissom is on leave until Sara is back on her feet. Literally and physically. So I'm acting supervisor, and in a court of law, Sara and I are nothing more than colleagues."

"Well Grissom never submitted any leave paperwork to me." He arrogantly shot back.

"Uh, Ecklie, where have you been? Have you not noticed that he hasn't been in since the accident?" She asked, wondering how stupid the man really was.

"I meant for a prolonged leave." He sighed, knowing full well what she had been thinking by the tone of her voice and expression on her face.

"Well that's because we kind of figured you'd be an ass about it, so we went above your head." She shrugged, as if it were no big deal. "I filled out the paperwork, Gil signed it, I brought it to the sheriff. He felt that Gil was far more needed with his family than at the lab right now. A concept in which you most likely don't understand." She realized that she was probably, no definitely, crossing some serious lines with the man, but at the moment, she just couldn't find the means to care. Gil, Sara and Matthew were her priority right now and she'd do what she had to in order to help them. And well, pissing off Ecklie was just icing on her cake.

"Catherine!" He warned angrily, standing up quickly and clenching his jaw in agitation.

All she could think of in that moment however, was Sara, lying in that hospital bed having no clue as to who her own son was; Gil, crying on her shoulder, covered in Sara's blood and refusing to leave her side; And little Michael, crying himself to sleep at her house, asking when Mommy was coming back.

"Oh shut up. I don't care what you have to say to me right now." She cut him off forcefully. "Look. Your lazy, ass kissing, worthless pieces of space that call them self dayshift, are doing nothing. NOTHING! And you expect us to just sit around and watch as the guy that did this to people I care very deeply about just gets away?! I don't fucking think so! Tell your guys, that they can either hand over the case, or deal with all of us hounding them day in and day out until it's solved. And believe me Ecklie, we _will_ hound them. You know that we'll solve it and that's what you're worried about. You don't want us to, 'cause that would mean once again, that we're better."

"Enough!" He yelled, effectively ending her tirade. "You are out of line Catherine!"

"Make it work Ecklie. Or I'll make your life a living hell."

"Are you threatening me?"

"No threat, just a friendly warning. I want this case." She left it at that, being sure he understood that she wasn't taking no for an answer, before walking out of the office, slamming the door against the wall in her wake.

"What is it with the women on that shift thinking they can get away with anything?!" Ecklie mused to the now empty room, shaking his head before picking up the phone.

* * *

"You didn't!" Greg yelped proudly as Catherine filled them all in on her conversation with Ecklie.

"I did. I now understand why Sara makes her mission in life to piss the man off. It's quite a high." Catherine chuckled, feeling pretty proud of herself if she admitted it.

"So, what's the verdict? Are we getting the case?" Nick inquired, a hint of hope in his voice.

"Well, I didn't leave him much of an option." She smiled and they all laughed. "But we'll see. To sum it up, I told him that if he doesn't give us the case we'll be making him and everyone on days' wish that they were never born."

"Such a sweet talker Cath." Warrick teased, earning him a sultry smile.


	20. Fan Clubs and 'Nam

**A/N: So, it's been four VERY long years since I have even thought about this story. I guess life took over. I grew up and got sucker punched by life. But recently I have begun an exploration of trying to find myself again, and when I think back on when I was happiest I can very clearly remember late nights writing these stories. So here I am. I hope I don't disappoint. **

**I still don't own a damn thing. Sad, but true.  
**

**Chapter Twenty: Fan Clubs and 'Nam**

They sat in silence for several long minutes while Gil tried to form a coherent sentence. He was so nervous about talking to Sara. He didn't want to add any stress to her already stressed mind, and he didn't want to push her for fear of that doing more harm than good. He was walking on egg shells and worse, he knew she could tell.

"Tell me about him." Her words, sure and confident, broke him from his musings. He looked up bemused.

"Who?"

"Michael. I figure you must know him pretty well, being his dad and all, and well, I am just finding out that I have this kid…that knows me, I'm his mom, but I don't know a damn thing about him. And the mother of the year award goes to…" At his stern look, she continued before he had a chance to scold her. "I was just hoping that maybe you could tell me some things about him. Y'know, like '_Your Child for Dummies'_ Or '_Michael 101'_ or something." He had to smile. She was taking this incredibly well if he did say so himself. And he did. Say so that is.

"Sara? What happened when you were with Michael?" He had to ask. Before he talked himself out of it. He really didn't want to push. But he had to help her. He couldn't watch his wife battling with herself and just stand by and do nothing to help her.

He noted how she looked away and started picking at her cuticles. It was her tell.

"It's nothing. I don't know. Look, I don't want to talk about what happened. Maybe nothing happened. I don't know!" She was getting upset, the last thing he wanted. "My brain is basically swiss cheese right now Griss, and I can't make sense of _anything_. I can't trust anything inside my head. So please, just tell me about that little boy who keeps calling me Mommy. Tell me about this little boy who I want to love. That I want to recognize. I never really wanted children. I don't know why we apparently have one. I don't remember being pregnant. I don't remember giving birth. I don't remember anything. I don't even remember getting married to you! Which, really, really sucks. Because I would have loved to see that. I don't know why our friends suddenly know that we're together. I don't even know what my name is! I mean, am I Sara Sidle? Am I a Grissom? What's our son's name? Do I even know where we live? Griss, I have NOTHING. Everything is just a god damn gaping hole of nothing. And I want so badly to remember. So please. Tell me about a child that I carried inside of me, for well, I'll assume 9 months. That I gave birth to, or did I have a c-section. Tell me what his first word was. Just, tell me everything. What the hell kind of mother am I that I can't remember that beautiful little boy with your hair and your nose and my eyes? How can he love me so much and I can't remember who he is? Help me remember. Please." She was just about sobbing as she finished her rant. He moved up the bed and clung to her as she let her anguish fall in big wet tears on his shoulder. Rubbing small circles into her back he whispered softly to her.

"I'll tell you everything you want to know. But first I need to go get some things. Will you be okay for a little while on your own? I promise I'll come right back."

Pulling away to see his face, she mutely nodded. He hadn't left her side in days, if he had to leave, it was something important.

"Score!" Catherine ran into the layout room with an eager smile plastered to her face, a file folder clutched tightly in her hands as she waved it around like it held all of the answers to life.

"Is that…?" Nick began, looking up from where he was cutting an evidence seal on a large white box, but Catherine's eagerness cut him off.

"Sara's case file? Why yes, Nicky. Yes it is. Who loves me?"

"That depends, is it actually ours, or did you steal it?" Warrick chimed in from the corner of the room where he was hanging a bed sheet to examine.

"Technically both." Her scrunched up face made him chuckle lightly. "I stole it fair and square. And now it's ours."

"Wow, apparently pissing off Ecklie gets results. Way to go Catherine!" Greg mused as he took tweezers to the remnants of what was once a woman's dress.

"Yup, I think I just appointed myself Vice President of the 'Pissing off Ecklie Fan Club'."

"_Vice_ President? Why not president?" Nick questioned, focused on his many articles of evidence, but still amused by the conversation.

"Ah! I know that one. Sara claimed that role YEARS ago." Greg laughed. He remembered when that club was made.

"_I hate that wretched, evil man! I try, you know, I really do, to find any small reason to give him half a chance, but there is not one good quality about him. He is just EVIL." Sara ranted on animatedly, having had to be reprimanded, again, by Ecklie because he felt Grissom was too soft on her. Taking a sip from her beer and moving her car ahead seven spaces, she sighed, adding to her misery. "Awesome. Twins. I wonder who the baby daddy is this time. Just what I have _always_ wanted. More babies. I can't even fit them in the car!" _

_Greg laughed. It seemed every time they played the wonderful game of LIFE, Sara ended up with 2 carloads of children, no husband to speak of, and a lot of debt. Every. Single. Time. He also had to laugh at her rantings of the Devil Reincarnate. AKA, Ecklie. He was fairly certain that not another living soul hated that man as much as Sara. _

"_You know, you should hope he never gets murdered."_

_She looked up with a skeptical eye._

"_And _why_ should I hope that?"_

_He laughed. Again. If he were honest with himself, which, he wasn't sure if he should be, he honestly wasn't sure if she was joking. _

"_You would be the main suspect. Hands down."_

_She had to ponder this. It was true. _

"_No way. There has GOT to be someone that hates him more than I do." She spoke the words, but she knew them to be false. Greg had a point. And just bought the nicest house in the game. Damn him._

"_Maybe Grissom, but even _he_ tolerates the man. You, however, make it very well known of your…uh…distaste for the man."_

"_Damn you and your logic. Well, I guess killing him is out. Ruin all my fun." The pout on her face was a sight for sore eyes, the pout that added to the already pouty face when she landed on yet another "Have a child" space was almost too much to bear. _

"_Face it Sara, you are destined to be a Mom. LIFE is trying to tell you something." That's when he learned how much those tiny little plastic, baby filled, cars hurt when Sara Sidle throws one at your eye. _

"_Don't make me gag."_

"_You'll see. And in the meantime, you can settle for being President of the 'Pissing off Ecklie Fan Club!'"_

"_A noble role indeed. I accept."_

He knew she would a great mom. And she was. When she got pregnant with Michael she had come to his apartment to tell him. She said it was LIFE's fault. Refused to admit that it had anything to do with a lack of birth control…

Warrick's voice broke him from his memory, though he smiled with the fleeting memory. He would have to tell Sara about that later.

"So is that the case file? What do we know?"

"Not much." Catherine sighed dejectedly. "Days barely even took witness statements. They never even spoke to Grissom or Sara. All that's in here are the crime scene photos that the on scene officers took and some preliminary reports."

"You can't be serious. Wow. Remind them to never become the victim of a crime. Their team won't do shit to help them." Nick spat the words out like a bad taste.

"So where do we start?" Greg eagerly asked. Wanting nothing more than to find the guy that nearly killed his best friend.

"Well, finish up what you're doing here and then let's head over to the scene. Get some statements, see if we can get a hold of the parking lot surveillance tapes. I already called the hospital, the nurses collected some evidence from Sara when she was in surgery, took some photos of her injuries and such, so while you finish up here, I'll head over to collect that from them."

"Sounds like a plan. Give us about an hour." Warrick stated, nods of agreement coming from Nick and Greg. And with that Catherine left, heading back to the hospital.

"Hey." She looked up startled. Since Gil left, she hadn't been expecting anyone. The nurse had already come and gone, taking her vitals and checking to make sure she was still a part of the Land of the Living. She had passed the test, coming back with a nice strong pulse. She may be confused about a lot, but at least she was alive.

Gil had been gone for nearly two hours and her mind was getting the better of her. She couldn't help but try and force memories to fall forth. It wasn't working. Despite her efforts. If anything, it was just exhausting her and making her angry. Maybe Gil was right, maybe she should just let them come.

But what if they won't?

Desperation had taken over when the images of Michael came to her. She needed to know this little boy. She needed to know everything about _her_ little boy.

Jim's presence was a blessing and a curse. She had yet to see him, at least she thought. Perhaps he had visited in the last couple of days and she didn't remember. Either way, she was glad to see him, but she was hoping he was Gil, returning with whatever it was he needed to desperately to answer her questions about Michael.

"Hey Jim." She braved a smile for him, and he appreciated her efforts. She took note of his scanning the room. "Gil went to go get something at our house. It's just me."

The gang had filled him in on her condition, so he was aware of how difficult it must be for her to face everyone, having no idea what her relationship with each of her friends had become in the last three years.

"No worries. I came to see your pretty face, not his ugly mug. I'm glad you didn't die." His very Jim smile did the trick to make hers genuine. And his lack of sugar coating helped, too.

"I think death may have come with less confusion."

"Now ain't that the truth. Sorry about your memory kiddo. Does that mean you don't remember all those nights sweating up the sheets with dear ol' Brass?" The waggling of the eyebrows convinced her that he was only joking, but really, anyone could tell her anything right now and she'd be forced to question it.

"I guess not." She laughed as she gave him a warm hug. Brass had always had her back, and if there was one thing she would always remember about him was how inviting his hugs were. He could clear away a bad day with just one of those hugs.

"Probably for the best. I think Gil was catching on." He took a moment to appraise all of her injuries. He had been in to see her the night of the accident, but she had still been unconscious. But seeing her, battered and bruised, looking like she had been…well, hit by a car…and staring at him with those imploring eyes, it was all a bit too much to grasp. "I hate to be the one to break it you kid, but you look like you got hit by a car."

The laugh escaped before she could stop it. He was the first one to make light of the situation. There was an appreciation she couldn't hide.

"Trust me, I _feel_ like I got hit by car."

"Well, all things considered, you look like you're doing pretty well. I mean…you _are_ breathing."

"You make a valid point, Jim." Her smile was less, but still true. His hand instinctively reached for hers as he took a seat on the bed by her broken leg.

"How you doing, kiddo?" Sincerity was all she heard in his voice. She momentarily considered responding with 'I'm fine' like she had done so many times, but something in his eyes let her relax.

"Not so good, Jim. Not so good." She could feel the tears welling up again and she fought to keep them at bay.

"Sara, I promise you, I am going to do everything in my power to help you get past this."

"It's like I went to bed, and when I wake up, three years have passed and I have no idea how I got here or how to figure out the me of the last three years." Try as she might, a tear escaped and fell carelessly down her cheek, making Jim's own eyes well despite his efforts. "I have a kid Jim. A child. A living breathing human that calls me Mommy." She laughed at the absurdity. "Definitely didn't see that coming. I mean, me? A kid."

"Yeah, I laughed pretty hard when you announced you were preggers with the lil tyke. Between you and Gil, definitely the least likely any of us ever thought to be parents. But hey. It worked out pretty well."

"I'd agree, but well, we both know I cannot attest to _anything_."

"You'll get there Sar. Take it easy. Don't beat yourself up. I knew this guy in the marines. Carl Penski. Kind of a 'nothing bad will ever happen to me' naïve type. Arrogant son of a bitch, too. Careless to say the least. Anyways, we served a tour in 'nam together. Or at least until he got sent home not knowing who the hell he was after he stepped a little too close to a bomb, if you know what I mean. Blew the SOB a good three hundred feet. Fractured his skull. Among other things. The doc said his brain swelled up like a balloon." He couldn't hide the goofy smile as he reminisced on the glory days.

"Uh…Jim…" He had spaced out a bit, enough that she felt the need to interject.

"Huh? Oh sorry, got caught up in the moment. Anyways, my point… So Carl, he gets rushed to the medics and for the entire month he was in the vet hospital, he didn't know a god damn thing. Not even his name. Finally, he gets sent back to Jersey, no clue that he was even from Jersey. So they get him all set up in a hospital there and one second has nothing and then his wife and new baby come in. Just like that, Bam! He knows who he is again. Not everything came back but the important stuff did. Craziest thing I ever heard. Last I heard he's got a couple of grandkids running around now."

"That's some story, Jim." She smirked. She wasn't sure how she was supposed to respond to that.

"Hey, I'm just saying that you never know. You never know what will trigger your memories to come back. Don't get discouraged kid."

"Thanks Jim."

"Anytime kiddo. Anytime. I've got plenty of war stories if you need a pick-me-up."

"I'll keep that in mind." Try as she might, the yawn escaped. Exhaustion was definitely at play, though she didn't want to succumb to it.

"I'll let you get some rest." He began to get up when her hand grasped his arm.

"No, Jim. Don't go."

"You need to sleep Sara. I'll come back tom…" Her eyes, pleading, scared, stopped him mid word. "How about I just sit here and hold your hand while you sleep until Gil gets back?"

Nodding, she lay back in the bed as Jim lowered the lights. He could tell she was frightened to be alone.

"


	21. Hidden Treasures and Hidden Secrets

**A/N: Twenty One! yay! This isn't super long, kind of a filler chapter for Grissom and Sara at the hospital, but some revealing info for the gang! Let me know what you think! The ideas are coming off me in waves now...it only took three'ish years...but hey, I've got them now. Now it's just a matter of which ideas I go with and what gets left behind/used for a different story.**

**A big thank you to everyone who stuck with this story throughout the years and for not blacklisting me after my rather long...uh...hiatus. i love you all!**

**Chapter Twenty-One: Hidden Treasures and Hidden Secrets**

Emotion had consumed him when he had returned home for the first time since the day he left the house with her for the grocery store. He had come here with a specific in and out, get the things he needed and leave, plan. However, that didn't work as well as he had thought.

Sara did most of the organizing and cleaning around the house – not that he minded, he enjoyed not having to think about laundry and vacuuming - but not a single day went by without him having to ask her where the secret location to some arbitrary object was. Today was no different.

Except he couldn't ask her.

Not only did she have no recollection of the things he sought, but she had no recollection of the home in which they were housed. He was in quite the predicament. He had no idea where to even start looking. He often made the joke that she could pass as a pirate, being able to hide things at the ends of the earth and he wouldn't even be able to find them with her hidden treasure map. But truth was, things were just very neatly organized and it threw him off. Everything had a specific home. But he couldn't understand her system. And so he overthought her system. According to him, things could never be where it was most logical. There had to be some secret reason. So she would put something in a logical place and he would think of every other place she could possibly have put it before even thinking of the logical place. Spices in the cabinet next to the stove had him searching the house for three hours before she came to his rescue and opened the cabinet door for him. He had been convinced that she must have moved them there while he was searching the basement.

_He was due in court in an hour and he couldn't for the life of him find his blue tie. There was no way Sara would hang his ties in his closet with his suits. No. Too simple. Sara's thought process had to be more complex than that. She was like a riddle. So instead of looking in the closet, he over thought of where they would be, and found himself seeking out his blue tie in the hall closet with the towels, and then in the kitchen drawers, in her office filing cabinet, and finally, Michael's big box of Lego's. That's where she found him. And by the look on her face she had not been happy. _

"_Gil? What on earth are you doing? I just got Michael down for a nap!" She fumed as she tried desperately to get the now awake toddler back to sleep. "It's okay Michael, Daddy's just being Daddy. Go back to sleep, okay?" Michael smiled sleepily as she tucked him in tight and walked Gil to just outside Michael's bedroom door._

"_Uh…my tie. I was looking for the blue one…with the little diamonds. I checked the towel closet and in the kitchen and your office…I'm running out of locations." He answered like it was the most obvious reason in the world for him to be rummaging through his son's lego box like his life depended on it._

"_The towel closet?" Try as she may, she couldn't understand why he never just looked where things are _actually_ kept. Always these elaborate searches of the most random places. _

"_Yes. It's not there. However, I never knew we had more towels in there. Fascinating find." She shook her head. She was mad that he had woken Michael up, but he was also very entertaining when he went on these little quests of his. _

"_Gil. You just referred to it as the 'towel closet', what on earth did you think we kept in there?" He pondered her question for a moment, coming up with several possibilities, including his ties. "Nevermind. Don't answer that. Wait. The kitchen?"_

"_All the drawers and the cabinets. And the fridge." _

"_The fridge? Gil. Honestly?"_

"_Honest. It's not there." He was being so serious, that's the part she found so hysterical._

"_And my office? Why would you think that I would put your tie in my office? Or the fridge for that matter." _

"_Well because…" She cut him off before he could even begin._

"_Y'know what? No. I am better off not knowing sometimes. You are absolutely insane Gilbert. Insane. Did you ever stop to think that it would be in our bedroom closet?" She stressed the last part with such exacerbation. He really was such a handful sometimes. _

"_No, that's too simple." He answered so quickly, so sure of himself, she had to laugh. Hard._

"_Oh my gosh, Gil. Seriously. Go look in the closet. Why do you have to make everything so damn difficult?"She walked away shaking her head at his absurdity and distantly heard Michael's voice call out the bedroom door to Gil._

"_Yeah Daddy, don't be so sillicut."Gil chuckled as he ventured toward their own bedroom and his closet, where indeed he found his tie, hanging gingerly next to his assortment of suits. _

Eventually he had found all of the items he was looking for. Granted he found one item by searching randomly for another. But the end result was the same. He had found everything.

Briefly he wondered how it would be when she returned home. He wouldn't know where anything was, she wouldn't know where anything was. They would likely starve to death because he wouldn't be able to locate the food, and he would be forced to forgo bathing and cleaning, because soap and shampoo would be hidden in the garage he was sure and who knew where she kept the broom.

Finished with his search of cherished goods, he entered their bedroom, and took a seat on Sara's side of the bed, staring at the photos on her night table, each of them carrying with it its own memory and emotion.

The first, an old, slightly faded picture. It had sat on her desk by the window in her old apartment in San Francisco, and then on her nightstand by the window in her Vegas apartment and then on their bureau when she had moved into his townhouse, also by the window. It had received a lot of sun over the years, but it was still as vivid as it ever was. He could still make out how tan her skin had been that summer as they stood in front of that rollercoaster back in San Francisco. They had met a few months prior to the photo being taken, and they had been so happy. A young lady standing with them in line had offered to take the photo for them when she saw Sara's camera. His much younger, less graying self, had held her tight and tickled her ribs just as the photo was taken. Laughter erupting from both of them. He had thought that day that they would live the rest of their lives together just like that moment. Perfect. Happy. He left and went back to Vegas a month later. She didn't go with him.

The second, a candid from their wedding, showed them shoving cake in each other's faces. Even covered in very expensive frosting, she had been so breathtakingly beautiful. They had done the corny tradition of freezing the top tier of their cake and eating it on their one year anniversary. It had been absolutely disgusting. But they had laughed and ate it anyways.

The third, a photo of Gil, tears in his eyes as he held a minutes old Michael in his hands. Father and son looking directly at each other. That had been one of the best moments of his life. An awakening.

And finally a photo of Sara and Michael. He liked this one for many reasons. For starters, he had taken it at the beach last summer. So Sara was wearing a bikini. Second, he loved photos of Sara and Michael together. They were like two peas in a pod. This one with a soaking wet Michael in his 'cool swim trunks' sitting on Sara's shoulders, holding her hands and bending down to give Sara a kiss. The sunlight in the background made them glow. It was such a beautiful sight.

It was overwhelming.

Gil took a few moments to just cry – something he would never openly admit to - to cry for the loss of the memories that he cherished so dearly, for the son who had lost a huge part of his mother, to cry for the pain his wife was in, both physically and mentally, to cry for the pain he was in, their son was in, to cry tears of joy that she had found a way to live, to cry for the baby he hoped to meet, that she didn't know existed. The tears flowed and it was several long minutes before they subsided.

Gathering his wits, he had packed a bag of clothes and necessities for them both, and left the room. She wouldn't even remember this home. They had bought it shortly after they had been married. There would be no familiarity in bringing her home here.

"_I don't know, Gil. It's just…too much." She said the words, but she didn't even convince herself. Truth was, she had fallen in love. This was the home for them. And yes, it was a little over their price range, but not so much that they couldn't make it work and still be comfortable. It was…perfect._

"_Sara. Look around you. You don't even get that dopey look when you look at me. We're putting in an offer." He was very stern, but amusing. _

"_What are we going to do with all of these bedrooms though? Gil, it's just the two of us. What do we need four bedrooms and a den for?" She had a point. _

"_Well, we'll have the master bedroom, and then you can take one for your office and I can take one for mine. Then we can have a guest room, and maybe one just for my bugs. I know it freaks you out to have them in sight. See. That's all five rooms. Done." He wanted this house and he knew she did too._

"_What kinds of people have that many bedrooms and no kids? People are going to think we're crazy." He chose not to comment on the kids part. It wasn't a conversation they had had. Granted they probably should at some point. After all, they were married now and Sara was still young. But, not right now. There would be time for that._

"_People already think we're crazy." Simple and to the point._

"_You're insane. We're insane. But you're right. I love it." Pausing a quick moment to kiss him. "I love you. Let's do it." They had put in an offer that afternoon and it had been accepted before dinner that night. They moved in a few weeks later. And a few weeks after that Sara announced she was pregnant. Gil had sacrificed his bug room for the nursery. His bugs dormed in his office after that._

A wistful smile passed his lips as he stepped back into the hospital room, watching her sleep, and recounting all the memories they had made so far in that house. Jim had called him on his way back to let him know that Sara had come into some great pain after she tried sleeping for a bit, so he _may_ have hit the little morphine release button despite her protests, but that she would likely sleep for a while now.

Sara hated being on drugs. Of any kind. She felt as though she didn't have control. If it were up to her, and thankfully the doctors and nurses would administer the morphine for her, she would be dealing with the physical pain from being run down completely drug free. If they were lucky, he would ask for a Tylenol.

He placed the bags he brought from home by the cot he had been sleeping on, and reclaimed the seat beside the bed, taking her hand in his and his other outstretching to touch her stomach where his unborn child currently resided. He didn't know how to tell her. What if it were too much? What if the baby didn't survive? The obstetrician had said that things looked good so far, but she was on a lot of medication and still facing a great deal of physical trauma. He couldn't tell her just to have her lose the baby.

For now, he would keep that information to himself until she was a little stronger and had some of her bearings back.

As much as he wanted and loved this baby, he wanted his wife healthy and safe first, so he had to protect her from information that could overwhelm her already delicate mindset.

* * *

"Something is off with this."

His comment drew all of their attention as they each paused in their ministrations to turn their focus on Nick.

"What do you mean?" Cath asked as she carefully examined the lab reports from the evidence she had collected at the hospital.

"I don't know. It's just…" He paused, frustrated. "Just hear me out on this." With everyone's silent receipt, he continued. "Now, I hate day shift as much as everyone here, and believe me, I know how much they all suck at their jobs, but this is like they just did nothing. This case file is practically empty. It's as if they were trying to just sweep it under the rug."

"I hear ya, man. We've got nothing, when we definitely should have had tons of evidence to sort through." Mentally taking in the lack of everything before them, Warrick nodded.

"Who was the lead CSI on the case?" Catherine chimed in quickly, as Greg grabbed for the report.

"John Lewis." Greg noted.

"That guy is dirty." His voice rattled them all as they looked to the doorway.

"Jim. What brings you here?" Catherine asked, then before he could speak added, "And what do you mean he's dirty?"

"I heard through the grapevine that you hijacked Sara's case. Kudos. I hear day shift is _very_ pissed off." He waggled his eyebrows in approval of their efforts, making them all smile.

"You should have seen Ecklie." She smiled at the memory.

"Catherine's a force to be reckoned with." Greg cheered.

"I've known that for quite a long time there, Sanders."

"So what were saying about Lewis?" Nick broke in, trying to get their focus back on track. As much as he loved the idle chit chat and banter, his friend was laying in a hospital bed and missing her marbles so to speak.

"Oh, that rat bastard. Yeah. He's dirty. We've suspected for a while, just couldn't prove anything. Why are you wondering about him?"

"He was the lead CSI on Sara's hit and run, but there's literally nothing here. He didn't do a thing." Anger laced Greg's words. How a CSI could be so careless on a case for one of their own was beyond him.

"Well that is interesting…" Jim mumbled, but they all heard him. The looks they shot his way forced him to elaborate. "I probably shouldn't be saying anything, but Sara's actually been working with me and the sheriff to try and nail the son of a bitch on something substantial."

"Wait, what? Sara was?" Warrick was surprised, and by the looks on everyone's faces, he was not alone.

"Yeah. It started with a problem on the day shift. Leaked confidential information, conveniently missing evidence, drug evidence being photographed at a scene and when it's entered in at the lab it was severely short of how much it should have been, witness statements altered. You name it. Sara was assigned by the sheriff directly to investigate, hoping to avoid having to include Internal Affairs. He had been concerned that Ecklie may have been in on it, so he, and the rest of day shift's staff, were all kept out of the loop. She's been checking out all of their case files and staff over the last few months, trying to find some concrete evidence and link it to whoever the problem child is."

"And her investigation led to John Lewis?" Nick asked, his mind reeling with this new information.

"Thanks to her investigation, yeah. He became our prime suspect, with a few meager personnel on the bottom of the totem pole. Sara was compiling all of the evidence to finalize everything to present to the sheriff when she was hit by that car. We had a meeting scheduled with him next week to go over everything. But, from what she told me, he was into some pretty serious stuff and she had everything to prove it. He was going down." Everyone was shocked. No one even knew she had been working on anything to do with an internal investigation, nevermind one of this magnitude.

"I think he just became our prime suspect as well." Catherine announced, a cloud of emotions passing her eyes.

_How could one of their own have done this?_


End file.
